Kids Say The Darndest Things!

WHY GOD MADE MOMS

Brilliant answers given by 2nd grade school children to the following questions:

Why did God make mothers?

1. She’s the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
2. Mostly to clean the house.
3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.

How did God make mothers?

1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring
3. God made my mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts.

What ingredients are mothers made of?

1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.
2. They had to get their start from men’s bones. Then they mostly use string, I think.

Why did God give you your mother and not some other mom?

1. We’re related
2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people’s moms like me.

What kind of little girl was your mom?

1. My mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff.
2. I don’t know because I wasn’t there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.
3. They say she used to be nice.

What did Mom need to know about Dad before she married him?

1. His last name.
2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer?
3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?

Why did your mom marry your dad?

1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my mom eats a lot.
2. She got too old to do anything else with him.
3. My grandma says that mom didn’t have her thinking cap on.

Who’s the boss at your house?

1. Mom doesn’t want to be boss, but she has to because dad’s such a goof ball.
2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.
3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than Dad.

What’s the difference between moms & dads?

1. Moms works at work and works at home & dads just go to work at work.
2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
3. Dads are taller & stronger, but moms have all the real power ’cause that’s who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend’s.
4. Moms have magic; they make you feel better without medicine.

What does your mom do in her spare time?

1. My mom says she don’t do spare time.
2. Nothing. She pays bills all day long.

What would it take to make your mom perfect?

1. On the inside she’s already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.
2. Diet. You know her hair. I’d diet, maybe blue.

If you could change one thing about your Mom, what would it be?

1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I’d get rid of that.
2. I’d make my Mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it and not me.
3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head.

today’sTHOT============================

I’d like to be the ideal mother, but I’m too busy raising my kids.

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Source: http://www.mikeysFunnies.com

Posted in Children, Humor, Parenting | Tagged , , , , , , | 22 Comments

Bob Dylan’s Definition of Success

“A man is a success if he gets up in the morning and gets to bed at night, and in between he does what he wants to do.” – Bob Dylan (Source: Robin Ruddy)

I believe that is true for women too.

I know that I feel successful and happy when I do what I want to do. When I don’t do what I want to do, it feels as though I’m dancing to the tune of someone else’s drummer. I don’t like that feeling at all.

Love,
Russ

Posted in Following Your Passion, Joy & Happiness, LIfe Lessons, Observations, Quotes I Love | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | 9 Comments

SPPRAK Attack

Young kids doing, and being grateful for, acts of kindness. What a wonderful combination! Thank you, GYA today, for spreading the word.
Russ

Paul Mark Sutherland's avatarGYA today

SPPRAK_Attack

 Thanks to NBC Nightly News for this charming and inspiring story.

Enjoy!

 

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Posted in Uncategorized | 7 Comments

For Those Who Are Having A Challenging Day

942965_454522791293890_1150498204_n Photo: Old West trading Post

Love,
Russ

Posted in Challenges, Children, Humor | Tagged , , , , , , | 7 Comments

Grandsons Update

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I had just finished reading a book to Thomas last night and had put it down. He picked it up and said “More” clear as day. Have I said lately how much I love my grandson and his parents?

As for my twin grandsons who are still in an over-crowded womb, they are developing nicely. Their mommy is doing well–or at least as well as can be expected with the twins kick-boxing inside her. Their mommy and daddy even had proof: A video of the babies inside her. One was on top and kept kicking the other. The one and the bottom got tired of it and kicked back. Wow! I love those little guys and their parents!

Love,
Russ
(A Very Grateful Man)

Posted in Abundance, Children, Grandparenting & Grandkids, Gratitude, Love, Miracles, Photos That Touched Me | Tagged , , , , , , | 23 Comments

A friend shared this story. I believe it to be true but have not Snopesed it. Whether the details are true or not, I believe there is truth and wisdom in the message it conveys.

Love,
Russ

“A man sat at a metro station in Washington DC and started to play the violin; it was a cold January morning. He played six Bach pieces for about 45 minutes. During that time, since it was rush hour, it was calculated that 1,100 people went through the station, most of them on their way to work.

Three minutes went by, and a middle aged man noticed there was musician playing. He slowed his pace, and stopped for a few seconds, and then hurried up to meet his schedule.

A minute later, the violinist received his first dollar tip: a woman threw the money in the till and without stopping, and continued to walk.

A few minutes later, someone leaned against the wall to listen to him, but the man looked at his watch and started to walk again. Clearly he was late for work.

The one who paid the most attention was a 3 year old boy. His mother tagged him along, hurried, but the kid stopped to look at the violinist. Finally, the mother pushed hard, and the child continued to walk, turning his head all the time. This action was repeated by several other children. All the parents, without exception, forced them to move on.

In the 45 minutes the musician played, only 6 people stopped and stayed for a while. About 20 gave him money, but continued to walk their normal pace. He collected $32. When he finished playing and silence took over, no one noticed it. No one applauded, nor was there any recognition.

No one knew this, but the violinist was Joshua Bell, one of the most talented musicians in the world. He had just played one of the most intricate pieces ever written, on a violin worth $3.5 million dollars.

Two days before his playing in the subway, Joshua Bell sold out at a theater in Boston where the seats averaged $100.

This is a real story. Joshua Bell playing incognito in the metro station was organized by the Washington Post as part of a social experiment about perception, taste, and priorities of people. The outlines were: in a commonplace environment at an inappropriate hour: Do we perceive beauty? Do we stop to appreciate it? Do we recognize the talent in an unexpected context?

One of the possible conclusions from this experience could be:

If we do not have a moment to stop and listen to one of the best musicians in the world playing the best music ever written, how many other things are we missing?”

Posted in Observations, Stories That Touched Me | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 19 Comments

Jigsaw Sculpture

I am occasionally asked regarding how or where I get ideas for my poems, lyrics, and short stories. The ideas come from everywhere and everything. Sometimes a single word or phrase ignites a spark of an idea. Sometimes it is a photograph, a smell that brings up a memory, something I see in nature, a person, or an action.

To me, it is a matter of seeing the same things everyone else sees, but looking at them differently, from unusual angles, or as though with different lighting or through a prism.

This morning, for example, I saw California poppies as I left the house. That brought up the phrase, “Gold Fever” and that phrase led in several creative directions. You may see a poem, lyric, or story with that title in the near future. On any given day I often have multiple such inspirations. Sometimes I let them sit for a while to see how strong the pull is toward the idea, and other times I immediately begin writing and don’t stop until I’m done.

In either case, I’ve found that it is important to immediately write down the idea. I’ve lost some wonderful ideas because I didn’t have a way to immediately capture them, and then got distracted and forgot what they were. Now, I almost always have within arms’ reach a way to capture ideas.

Perhaps strangely, some of my best ideas come when I am in the bathroom, mowing lawns, or doing something tedious. I believe that it may be because my brain has more bandwidth and freedom to be creative at such times.

Taking a seed of an idea and fleshing it out feels to me a lot like putting together a jigsaw puzzle, gradually adding pieces, creating an outline in a basics shape, trying different things to see what fits, expanding the picture, etc.

Then when the puzzle is put together, the next phase to me is like sculpting. The completed jigsaw puzzle is typically mostly two-dimensional, but I want my work to be at least 3-dimensional. At this point, I equate the project to be more akin to a block of marble.

It might be a beautiful block of marble, but I want it to be so much more. Now, rather than adding, I attempt to chip away at the block as sculptors do, to reveal something that was there all the time and was bursting to show itself.

The challenge to me is to remove just the right amount of the block to reveal the essence of the piece.

I know that I have succeeded when the completed work moves people. If they feel one or more emotions, that is good, but if they feel connected and/or inspired, that is great.

I feel that my writing is making a positive difference when I get feedback from readers that something I created moved them to tears–joyous or healing—or inspired them to cast off something that has not been working in their lives, or to try something new.

There are few things that make me feel more wonderful than knowing that I’m making a positive difference in the world, whether it is in the life of a single person or many.

Love,
Russ

Posted in Creativity, Non-Fiction Writing I've Done, Observations, Story Writing Adventures, Writing | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 8 Comments

“No More Secrets/No More Lies”: Dedicated to All Who’ve Had Their Hearts Broken By A Dishonest Lover

In an earlier post, I promised to post a song or two. This one has an energy that is quite different from my other songs to date and is dedicated to everyone who has been cheated on, lied to, or otherwise had your heart broken by a dishonest lover. It is a re-post for newer readers. My co-writer on this song is Denis Loiseau.

Love,
Russ

Posted in Anger, Songs For Sale That I Wrote or Co-Wrote, Songs I've Written or Co-Written | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 9 Comments

Under 1 Roof: 12 Kids, 2 Women, and 1 Very Patient Man

For those who are tired of reading my poetry–and I imagine that your numbers are legion–I’ve decide to re-post a story and a song or two. Here’s a story for newer readers:

Under 1 Roof: 12 Kids, 2 Women, and 1 Very Patient Man

When I was in my early- to mid-teens a maternal aunt and her 7 children moved in with our family of 7 into a 3 bedroom/2 bathroom house. They were from the east coast and none of the kids from each family knew the other.

The five boys were in one bedroom and the seven girls in another. Thank goodness for bunk beds with 3 mattresses! Personal space was rare and precious, and privacy was a wonderful concept with virtually no chance of reality.

Despite major efforts by everyone, I’m sure that noise levels greatly exceeded volume standards for jet engines. That must have been very tough on the nerves of the adults.

Certain aspects of life needed to be fairly tightly regimented. For example, with 15 people and only 2 bathrooms you can imagine how crazy that got! The lines could get as bad as those at a ball game at half-time. And there was often more dancing and squirming while standing in those lines than what might be seen at a high school dance.

The ambiance at meal time was akin to a military mess hall with a platoon of hungry recruits devouring everything in sight. In our house it was be fast or go hungry.

It took multiple shopping carts piled as high as possible just to keep food on the table. I can’t even imagine how much it cost to feed all of us!

And the piles of laundry were mountainous and never-ending. Our clothes washer and dryer worked around the clock.

The older kids helped around the house—-though I’m sure that we didn’t help nearly as much as we thought we did, or as the adults would have liked! I was the oldest of the 12 kids and I was still fairly young.

Schedules needed to be strictly adhered to. One person running late could wreak havoc on everyone, and getting everyone out of the house on time resembled a cross between a fire drill and a scene from the Keystone Cops—-but with a LOT more noise.

While all this might seem to be a recipe for disaster or misery, I don’t remember it that way. We kids had a whole bunch of cousins we hadn’t known before to get to know and to play with.

We all just kept finding ways to make it work.

It must have been tough for my mom and her sister to live under one roof with each other and so many children, but I can’t even imagine how it must have been for my poor (and I mean that both figuratively and literally) Dad.

Love,
Russ

Posted in Abundance, Challenges, Children, Parenting, True Stories I've Written | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 9 Comments

A Bad Day’s Brewin’

When I woke up
Key sites were down
Spent all mornin’
On work-arounds

Cut a toe on a tack
I didn’t see on the floor
Jumped and banged my elbow
On the edge of a door

Bathroom flooded
Sewer line’s blocked
Now I see I’m wearin’
Mismatched socks

Coffee pot’s empty
It’s plain to see
A bad day’s brewin’
And it’s wearin’ on me

All this stuff
Is pilin’ on
Everything I’ve touched
Has turned out wrong

But today isn’t going
To get me down
It may take awhile
But I’ll bring it around

Time will tell
That I was right
I’ll make it a great day
If it takes all night!
-Russ Towne

Posted in Adversity, Attittude, Challenges, Humor, Poetry I Wrote | Tagged , , , , , | 29 Comments