GREAT TRUTHS THAT CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED:
~ No matter how hard you try, you can’t baptize cats.
~ When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don’t let her brush your hair.
~ If your sister hits you, don’t hit her back. They always catch the second
person.
~ Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
~ You can’t trust dogs to watch your food.
~ Don’t sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
~ Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.
~ You can’t hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
~ Don’t wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
~ The best place to be when you’re sad is Grandpa’s lap.
GREAT TRUTHS THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED:
~ Raising teenagers is like nailing Jell-O to a tree.
~ Wrinkles don’t hurt.
~ Families are like fudge…mostly sweet, with a few nuts.
~ Today’s mighty oak is just yesterday’s nut that held its ground.
~ Laughing is good exercise. It’s like jogging on the inside.
~ Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy.
GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD
~ Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
~ Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.
~ When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you’re down
there.
~ You get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a
roller coaster.
~ It’s frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers to ask
you the questions.
~ Time may be a great healer, but it’s a lousy beautician.
~ Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.
Source: http://www.mikeysFunnies.com
Russ Towne's A Grateful Man 
There are some keepers here.
I agree. Thank you! I apologize for the delayed reply!
Russ
Thanks for a good laugh…some memories,,,some current Diane
I can relate to “some memories, some current”! Thank you for your comment, Diane.
Russ
Yep I agree………………..
:-D!
Brilliant words, and I learnt something…… thanks for posting this!
I’m glad you liked it, Ute. Thank you for letting me know!
Russ
This did make me laugh, so very true. Thank you for sharing 🙂
I like to make people laugh–especially when it is on purpose! Thank you for your feedback, Manty!
Russ
What a fun list of truths…
I agree. I’m glad they were fun for you, too, Mimi.
Russ
“jogging on the inside” I am going to remember that one! The whole list is great, and spares no one! 😉
Yeah, that’s a great one. My favorite, of course, is “The best place to be when you’re sad is Grandpa’s lap.” ;-D!
Russ
I really enjoyed these lists of lessons learned, Russ. I shared a few of the choicest ones with my “middle-aged” son… He’ll especially like the one about fudge-like families! 🙂 By the way, one of my favorite age-related quotes is: “40 is the old age of youth; 50 is the youth of old age.”
Hi, Jan. It’s great to hear from you. Thank you for sharing: ““40 is the old age of youth; 50 is the youth of old age.” I’d not heard of it. I like it, and it is a bit sobering…
Russ
It is a quote from Victor Hugo. I found it in “Leaves of Gold.” Yes, quite sobering – but quite a truism!
:-D!
Russ
Reblogged this on Patsy's Creative Corner and commented:
Enjoy some giggles today! 🙂
I’m glad you enjoyed it! Thank you for spreading the smiles and laughter.
Russ
You’re welcome! 🙂
Oh, Russ!!!! I laughed the whole way through! SUCH truths….all of them lol!!!!
I’m glad you enjoyed this and took the time to tell me, my friend. Thank you!
Russ
What’s up, just wanted to mention, I enjoyed this blog post.
It was helpful. Keep on posting!
I wish I’d said that. Good stuff.
Thank you for your kind comment, Lisa.
Russ