Family and Aging Humor

GREAT TRUTHS THAT CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED:

~ No matter how hard you try, you can’t baptize cats.
~ When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don’t let her brush your hair.
~ If your sister hits you, don’t hit her back. They always catch the second
person.
~ Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
~ You can’t trust dogs to watch your food.
~ Don’t sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
~ Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.
~ You can’t hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
~ Don’t wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
~ The best place to be when you’re sad is Grandpa’s lap.

GREAT TRUTHS THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED:

~ Raising teenagers is like nailing Jell-O to a tree.
~ Wrinkles don’t hurt.
~ Families are like fudge…mostly sweet, with a few nuts.
~ Today’s mighty oak is just yesterday’s nut that held its ground.
~ Laughing is good exercise. It’s like jogging on the inside.
~ Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy.

GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD

~ Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
~ Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.
~ When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you’re down
there.
~ You get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a
roller coaster.
~ It’s frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers to ask
you the questions.
~ Time may be a great healer, but it’s a lousy beautician.
~ Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.

Source: http://www.mikeysFunnies.com

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About russtowne

My wife and I have been married since 1979. We have 3 adult children and 4 young grandsons. I manage a wealth management firm I founded in 2003. My Beloved is a Special Education teacher for Kindergartners and First Graders. I'm a published author of 23 books in a variety of genres for grownups and children. In addition to my family, friends, investing, and writing, my passions include reading, watching classic movies, experiencing waves crashing on rocky shores, hiking in ancient redwood forests, and enjoying our small redwood grove and fern garden.
This entry was posted in Aging, Family "Fun", Humor and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

26 Responses to Family and Aging Humor

  1. There are some keepers here.

  2. Thanks for a good laugh…some memories,,,some current Diane

  3. Yep I agree………………..

  4. utesmile says:

    Brilliant words, and I learnt something…… thanks for posting this!

  5. manty67 says:

    This did make me laugh, so very true. Thank you for sharing ๐Ÿ™‚

  6. mimijk says:

    What a fun list of truths…

  7. “jogging on the inside” I am going to remember that one! The whole list is great, and spares no one! ๐Ÿ˜‰

  8. JanBeek says:

    I really enjoyed these lists of lessons learned, Russ. I shared a few of the choicest ones with my “middle-aged” son… He’ll especially like the one about fudge-like families! ๐Ÿ™‚ By the way, one of my favorite age-related quotes is: “40 is the old age of youth; 50 is the youth of old age.”

  9. Reblogged this on Patsy's Creative Corner and commented:
    Enjoy some giggles today! ๐Ÿ™‚

  10. Oh, Russ!!!! I laughed the whole way through! SUCH truths….all of them lol!!!!

  11. russtowne says:

    I’m glad you enjoyed this and took the time to tell me, my friend. Thank you!
    Russ

  12. ask says:

    What’s up, just wanted to mention, I enjoyed this blog post.
    It was helpful. Keep on posting!

  13. lisakunk says:

    I wish I’d said that. Good stuff.

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