To Love What You Do

Posted on April 12, 2012 by russtowne

“To love what you do and feel that it matters–how could anything be more fun?

–Katherine Graham

I see ever-greater numbers of people around the globe doing what they love while making the world a better place. If you are one of them, thank you! If not, one of my wishes for you is that you find what turns you on and go for it, sharing your unique combination of experience, talent, wisdom, passion, and energy, in ways that that help you to feel valued and appreciated.

Posted in Creativity, LIfe Lessons, Making the World a Better Place, Random Thoughts | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

I P O Y

Posted on April 11, 2012 by russtowne

I occassionally write the letters “I P O Y” on the bottom of emails and other written communicationss to one of my sons. The reason for doing so takes a little explaining but involves Fred Rogers of “Mr. Roger’s Neighborhood” fame…

I never knew much about Fred Rogers until one of my sons sent an audiobook written by someone else (I don’t recall the author’s name) chronicling his friendship over the years with him. I don’t even recall the name of the book (unless it was “IPOY”) but it had a lasting impression on me.

I was surprised at how much I enjoyed listening to a book about Fred Rogers. I was impressed that how he projected himself in his television show is very much as he was in real life: Kind, gentle, compassionate, thoughtful, loving, and understanding–in life, and during his painful illness, and tragic death. He was clearly a man whose words and actions were in alignment with his vision and purpose.

I never watched his children’s show for more than a few minutes as I flipped through TV channels, but even in those brief moments of curiosity I saw a man who was willing to be ridiculed by many adults as he created a safe space for young children to bring their fears and anxieties and be comforted and be-friended as they became more confident and comfortable about themselves and their world.

Anyway, back to the audiobook: The writer was dealing with some troubling things from the author’s childhood that were having a major negative impact on his life as an adult. Though Fred Rogers had barely met and didn’t know him, Fred reached out and quickly became a close and trusted friend, confidant, and life and relationship coach to him despite the fact that during most of the time of their friendship they lived far apart so that most of their communications were via letter. The book appears to be largely based on those letters.

One of the issues the author struggled with was around self-worth. Fred began writing “I P O Y” at the bottom of many of his letters to the author. It was their short-hand for “I’m Proud Of You”. That simple lesson in kindness greatly touched the author and had a major impact on his life.

And that is why to this day I still occassionally write those four little letters at the bottom of my written communications to the son who sent the audiobook to me. I am indeed proud of him and all three of my children, and it is nice to have a way to remind him of that in a special way.

I hope it brings a smile to his face when he sees “I P O Y” and remembers a kind and gentle man who made the world a better place while he was here.

Posted in Forgiveness, Friendship, Gratitude, Healing, Inspiring, LIfe Lessons, Optimism, Random Thoughts, Vids & Stories That Touched Me | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

I Will Not Forget You

Posted on April 10, 2012 by russtowne

“Flatter me, and I may not believe you.
Criticize me, and I may not like you.
Ignore me, and I may not forgive you.
Encourage me, and I will not forget you.”
-William Arthur Ward

I like and believe in this quote. My life and relationships would be even better if I was wise enough to always follow it. I saw this quote in today’s incoming email from A.Word.A.Day by Anu Garg.

Posted in Inspiring, LIfe Lessons, Quotes I Love, Relationship Lessons Learned | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

What The Living Can Learn From The Biggest Regrets of The Dying

Posted on April 9, 2012 by russtowne

The URL below is to a poignant and powerful article about the biggest regrets that are most often given by those who are at the end of their life. I believe that many readers will discover a surprise or two.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2012/feb/01/top-five-regrets-of-the-dying/print

Posted in Friendship, LIfe Lessons | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

The Day Girls Saved Me

Posted on April 9, 2012 by russtowne

Many years ago I was in a high school Marine Corps JROTC program as the Vietnam War was coming to an end. It was not a real popular time to be in uniform.

It was a turbulent time. One of the many changes was that girls had just been allowed to participate in the JROTC program for the first time. It was a big deal. Television crews came to the school and the female cadets ended up on TV and in the newspaper. They got so much attention that many of the male cadets were understandably jealous.

I stood up for the girls and the girls program. Probably partly because I supported them, I was asked to be a sort of student teacher in the all-girls JROTC class. There was also, of course, an adult retired Marine instructor. I was there to assist him in teaching the girls. I felt honored to be trusted in this way.

I loved those girls. They were like family to me. I knew what it was like for them to wear a military uniform during the Vietnam era.

Worse for them, the girl’s uniforms appeared to have been intentionally designed to make the wearer look as unattractive as possible. Their uniforms were downright ugly! And the girls initially had to deal with the resentment of many of the male cadets.

For some reason, uniform day was on a different day that week for the girls than for the boys. On this day, the girls were in uniform. I was in civilian clothes walking about twenty feet behind them as one of the girls led them in formation down the long tunnel-like hall that ran through the center of the school.

As they marched along, three boys (who weren’t in the JROTC program) who were standing in a group near some lockers began taunting and jeering the girls, calling them all sorts of names.

This type of thing was something the girls had to endure a lot. I don’t know what set me off that particular day. I guess that I’d just had enough.

Irritation had become anger, which had unexpectedly turned to rage.

What happened next must have been due to a brief outburst of temporary insanity. I ran toward the boys with both of my arms extended out from my sides and slammed all three of them them into the lockers. The crashing sound startled everyone within 150 feet; those boys and I most of all.

I saw the looks of surprise, shock and fear in the eyes of those boys.

Unfortunately, about two seconds later, anger was clearly their primary emotion, and my eyes must have been the ones reflecting shock, surprise and fear as we all realized what had just happened.

They and I quickly did the math as we all came to our senses: Three of them and one of me. All four of us knew what was going to happen next and only three of us were going to enjoy it.

I was in BIG trouble and about to get pounded into the ground.

In the meantime, the girls who had been marching had heard the crashing of the boys against the lockers. They stopped and turned to see what the commotion was about and quickly realized what had just happened and just how much trouble I was in. Two of the biggest, most athletic girls peeled from the girls’ formation and stood behind and slightly to each side of me. There was no doubt in anyone’s minds that the fight was no longer going to be 3 against 1.

The boys quickly re-did the math. They realized they were now in a no-win situation. Even if they won the fight, everyone in the school would know that they got into a fight with girls. And, there was always the possibility that they wouldn’t win. By now, I was the least of their worries; I doubt whether I was even in their equation anymore.

I don’t recall exactly what happened next. I like to think that I asked the boys to apologize to the young ladies for their insults and that they did.

But it may be that the girls demanded an apology and got one or that the boys apologized on their own.

I do know what didn’t happen. I didn’t get pounded into the ground!

I will never forget those girls. As I said, we were like family; a family that stuck together and stood up for one another. It didn’t go unnoticed.

Word spread around the school about the girls standing up to the bullies and the girls were accepted and respected more after that.

Posted in Courage, Friendship, Gratitude, Inspiring, True Stories I've Written | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

LAAF SHMILY!

Posted on April 5, 2012 by russtowne

My wife and I sometimes write notes or sign cards to each other that end with LAAF! and/or SHMILY! It’s not because we have forgotten how to spell the words “Laugh” or “Smile”. “LAAF & SHMILY” are actually acronyms for “Love Always And Forever” and “See How Much I Love You!” that we sometimes use as quick reminders that we are there for each other forevermore.

We sometimes leave notes with no other message but LAAF SHMILY where the other will find them. Such notes take very little time, and like so many of the most important things in life, are free.

If you are in a strong long-term committed relationship, you might find value in using this or a similar approach as a reminder to both of you.

And if you aren’t in such a relationship, but wish to someday be in one, it is my hope that you find your soul mate soon.

I’m very grateful for the one I have–even after and partially becasue of 32 years of marriage. I like to invest the time to frequently remind her of that fact. As an investment manager, I like the Return On Investment! ;-D!

Posted in Creativity, Gratitude, LIfe Lessons, Random Thoughts | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Money For a Taxi Ride

Posted on April 5, 2012 by russtowne

My wife and I were out on the town with some other couples when an elderly woman who appeared quite down on her luck and perhaps homeless walked up to our group and asked if we were going in a specific direction. We said we were. She asked if we could perhaps give a lift to her because she had someplace important to be and had no car or money.

As we had driven together, the owner of the car said, “Sorry, our car is too small and we can’t help you.” Then he walked away.

When no one was looking, another member of our group took some money from his wallet and dropped it on the ground. He then bent down to pick it up and handed it to the elderly lady. As he did so, he said, “I think you may have dropped this ma’am. It should be enough to hire a taxi to take you to where you want to go.”

The elderly woman’s eyes misted over with happiness and surprise as she took the money. She gave a knowing and grateful look to him as she thanked him.

I’ll never forget the feeling I had when I saw the look in the woman’s eyes.

Those eyes reminded me once again how small kindnesses can make huge differences in the lives of others, and it brightened my evening and lifted my spirit to experience it.

Posted in Creativity, Gratitude, Inspiring, LIfe Lessons, Random Thoughts, True Stories I've Written | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

“I will die in the midst of doing what I love to do…”

Posted on April 2, 2012 by russtowne

“I will die in the midst of doing what I love to do and that is using my voice and using my life to try to inspire other people to live the best of theirs.” –Oprah Winfrey

As an investment manager I read a lot about many businesses as part of my analyses. The above comment was the last line of an article about Oprah Winfrey’s mistakes and struggles regarding launching the OWN Network. I love the comment because to me it powerfully espouses in a single sentence some key messages about how to live and have a full and rewarding life:

Do what you love to do so it is a passion and not a job.

Do what you love to do for as long as you can do it–ideally until the day you die.

Bring meaning to your life by being a positive influence on, or inspiration to, others.

Help or inspire others to do all of the above.

While I may have only seen the Oprah show perhaps three times in my life, I have long admired many things about her. She appears to me to truly care about others and seems to have a generosity of spirit that I find admirable and refreshing. I like the positive energy she radiates. I like her backk story about pulling herself up by her bootstraps and makeing herself phenomenally successful despite daunting odds. And she appears to have done it while remaining a kind-hearted person.

While I don’t know whether Oprah will be successful in her new investment, I hope she is, and would not bet against her. Oprah works hard, her words and actions appear in alignment, and she is willing to admit mistakes, is perserverent, and gutsy. That sounds like a recipe for success to me–in business and more importantly, in life.

Posted in Courage, Creativity, Inspiring, LIfe Lessons, Optimism, Quotes I Love, Random Thoughts | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

A 5-Run Homer!

Posted on April 2, 2012 by russtowne

I just experienced a a most unusual baseball game between the Giants and the Yankees. During it I got to see a 5-run homer, a batter run the bases backwards, players skipping in the outfield an doing somersaults in the in-field. Perhaps I should explain…

My wife, a Special Education teacher for Kindergartners and 1st Graders was invited by the parents of one of her students to a baseball game in a Special Education league. She invited me and so off we went on this beautiful sunny day featuring a strong brisk breeze.

The home team is named the Giants and the away team was the Yankee’s. By now you’ve probably figured out that this was no ordinary game. It was a special game indeed.

All the fans cheered equally for every player of both teams. Each player was matched with a “buddy” on the field who was a Litle Leaguer volunteer who helped their little buddy field or hit the ball and helped to keep them safe. Every one of the volunteer buddies was amazing! They stayed focused the whole game patiently guiding their little buddies in gentle, loving ways. A like number of adults would be less likely to have done nearly so well.

Speaking of adults, the grown-up volunteers, coaches, managers, and others were wonderful! They kept everyone safe, and helped children who were physically, mentally, and behaviorally challenged to experience the thrill of playing baseball. Every child got to bat every inning. There were eight players per team and the score was tied 8 to 8 at the end of the first inning, and ended in a 16 to 16 tie. It wasn’t exactly a pitchers duel, and the fielding needs some work, but their bats were on fire!

On the field was a player in a motorized wheel chair, and players who could barely run, or hold the bat. Boys and girls played for each team. The players went through a range of emotions during the game with smiles dominating, but frustration and tears too. There were show-boats and shy players, and some who got overwhelmed by it all. And you couldn’t ask for a better announcer or fans. It was a wonderful way to spend part of the day.

To say I was touched by it all would be an understatement. My eyes puddled up several times during the game as I saw people being beautiful toward each other. It must have been the brisk breeze blowing into my eyes. Yeah, that must have been it…

Posted in Courage, Humor, Inspiring, Unexpected Pleasures | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

“When Grown-Ups Lie”

Posted on April 1, 2012 by russtowne

One of my songwriting collaborators and I are writing a song that we hope will inspire children who are victims of abuse to speak painful truths to caring people who will listen and take action to help protect them. To help them to understand that they don’t have to deal with it alone; that there are many more adults who care than there are people who abuse children.

We hope it helps to educate survivors of abuse that people who do such harmful things often try to protect themselves by lies, intimidation, and attempts to make their victims feel worthless and powerless.

We will be pleased if our song can inspire even one child to get help and begin to heal by speaking their painful truth and by doing so shine their beautiful light on the shadows where their tormentors have been hiding.

Posted in Courage, Healing, LIfe Lessons, Song Lyrics I've Written or Co-Written, Song Updates, Songs I've Written or Co-Written, Songwriting Adventure | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment