In a comment from my last post, a reader asked what I did to become a better friend.
I thought some of you might also be interested in my reply (with a bit more information added that I thought of later):
It was a lot of little things. Spoke my truth. Got more vulnerable with them and shared more of myself, my hopes, dreams, and fears, and talked to them about theirs’.
Changed my lifestyle so that I could be easily called or otherwise reached at any time of the day or night and would be available to immediately talk about 95% of the time, and for emergencies, virtually 100% of the time except the rare times when I’m flying somewhere.
I made it clear with frequent reminders that I considered it a gift and high honor when they reach out to me at the times they need me rather than when it is convenient for me–even at 3am on week nights.
Then I kept my word and followed through.
When one is easy to reach and always available it is easier to build trust and relationship.
That approach worked with my children too. When they became teens, I learned to be available to talk when they wanted–often between midnight and 2am or later. It kept the lines of communication open when hormones created a lot of interference.
I love my profession and my default mode is to be “working” (though it often feels more like playing), but I frequently remind everyone that they are a higher priority so if they want to do something with me for fun or otherwise almost any time of the day or night–(and if it’s an emergency the word “almost” is removed)–I’m able to do it.
Most of what I do professionally can be done at any time of the day or night, so I still have plenty of time to do my duty to my Clients and meet my various responsibilities, while maintaining and enjoying relationships when it is convenient for them.
The pages of my calendar for most days are completely blank. That’s exacly how I like it. My life has been designed around optimising my availability, flexibility, and freedom.
I’m happiest when I can do what I want, the way I want, when I want to do it, while growing a business and investment portfolios, and being virtually always available for my family and friends.
Russ
Russ Towne's A Grateful Man 