Russ Towne's A Grateful Man

The Day the Girls Rescued Me

Posted on September 2, 2013 by russtowne

(A Re-post for newer readers to this site.)

Many years ago I was in a high school Marine Corps JROTC program as the Vietnam War was coming to an end. It was not a real popular time to be in uniform.

It was a turbulent era. One of the many changes was that girls had just been allowed to participate in the JROTC program for the first time. It was a big deal. Television crews came to the school and the female cadets ended up on TV and in the newspaper. They got so much attention that many of the male cadets were understandably jealous.

I stood up for the girls and the girls program. Probably partly because I supported them, I was asked to be a sort of student teacher in the all-girls JROTC class. There was also, of course, an adult retired Marine instructor. I was there to assist him in teaching the girls. I felt honored to be trusted in this way.

I loved those girls. They were like family to me. I knew what it was like for them to wear a military uniform during the Vietnam era.

Worse for them, the girl’s uniforms appeared to have been intentionally designed to make the wearer look as unattractive as possible. Their uniforms were downright ugly! And the girls initially had to deal with the resentment of many of the male cadets.

For some reason, uniform day was on a different day that week for the girls than for the boys. On this day, the girls were in uniform. I was in civilian clothes walking about twenty feet behind them as one of the girls led them in formation down the long tunnel-like hall that ran through the center of the school.

As they marched along, three boys who were standing in a group near some lockers began taunting and jeering the girls, calling them all sorts of names.

This type of thing was something the girls had to endure a lot. I don’t know what set me off that particular day. I guess that I’d just had enough.

Irritation had become anger, which had unexpectedly turned to rage.

What happened next must have been due to a brief outburst of temporary insanity. I ran toward the boys with both of my arms extended out from my sides and slammed all three of them into the lockers. The crashing sound startled everyone within 150 feet; those boys and I most of all.

I saw the looks of surprise, shock, and fear in the eyes of those boys.

Unfortunately, about two seconds later, anger was clearly their primary emotion, and my eyes must have been the ones reflecting shock, surprise, and fear as we all realized what had just happened.

They and I quickly did the math as we all came to our senses: There were three of them and only one of me. All four of us knew what was going to happen next and only three of us were going to enjoy it.

In the meantime, the girls who had been marching had heard the crashing of the boys against the lockers. They stopped and turned to see what the commotion was about and quickly realized what had just happened and just how much trouble I was in.

Two of the biggest, most athletic girls peeled from the girls’ formation and stood behind and slightly to each side of me. There was no doubt in anyone’s minds that the fight was no longer going to be 3 against 1.

The boys quickly re-did the math. They realized they were now in a no-win situation. Even if they won the fight, everyone in the school would know that they got into a fight with girls. And, there was always the possibility that they wouldn’t win. By now, I was the least of their worries; I doubt whether I was even in their equation anymore.

I don’t recall exactly what happened next. I like to think that I asked the boys to apologize to the young ladies for their insults and that they did.

But it may be that the girls demanded an apology and got one or that the boys apologized on their own.

I do know what didn’t happen. I didn’t get pounded into the ground!

I will never forget those girls. As I said, we were like family; a family that stuck together and stood up for one another. It didn’t go unnoticed.

Word spread around the school about the girls standing up to the bullies and the girls were accepted and respected more after that.

Posted in Adversity, Anger, Bullying, Choices, Community, Friendship, Non-Fiction Writing I've Done, True Stories I've Written, Uncategorized | Tagged author, boys, bullies, bullying, girls, high school, JROTC, media, non-fiction, non-fiction stories, taunting, uniform, USMC, writer, writing | 11 Comments

Sock War!

Posted on August 29, 2013 by russtowne

One day when our boys were still fairly young, I kidded my Beloved about something as she sorted and matched a basket of clean socks, rolling the matched pairs into little balls to keep them together. The next thing I knew a pair of rolled up socks was flying at me at roughly the speed of sound and hit me squarely between the eyes!

My Beloved had an amazingly accurate throwing arm and she knew how to use it! She had been signed for a Pro Woman’s Softball League right out of high school after being voted the most athletic girl in our school. So, when I say My Beloved could throw like a pro I’m not exaggerating even a little bit!

Luckily for me, a pair of rolled up cotton socks rolled up into a ball has not much greater impact than a cotton ball.

“Two can play that game,” I yelled as I ran over and grabbed a bunch of the sock-balls from her pile then ran behind a couch and lobbed a pair at her. She ducked behind a chair with a handful of her own, and the “Sock War” was on!

By now our young boys were laughing hysterically. They grabbed some sock balls and ducked behind other furniture as the Sock War escalated. Sock balls were flying everywhere and bouncing off of everyone and everything! We were all laughing so hard our eyes began watering.

A cool thing about Sock Wars (besides that no one in our family ever got hurt fighting them) is no one ever runs out of ammunition!

We played until our arms couldn’t throw anymore and laughed so long and hard our jaws ached.

“Sock Wars” became one of our favorite family traditions and we often played it.

The game’s only rule was that you couldn’t throw dirty socks. Considering how smelly the boys and my feet were, I suspect that it was my Beloved who probably insisted on that rule!

Ironically, Sock Wars were among the funnest (I know that spell-check doesn’t consider “funnest” to be a real word, but if it isn’t, it SHOULD be!) and funniest things we’ve ever done as a family and it was FREE other than the cost of an occasional re-washing of a load of socks, of course! (I had to throw that last phrase in there in case my Beloved reads this post!)

With Love,
Russ

Posted in Non-fiction Stories I've Written | Tagged author, boys, children, family fun, humor, non-fiction, non-fiction stories, parenting, tradition, writer | 32 Comments

Love Is…

Posted on August 28, 2013 by russtowne

(A repost for newer readers to this site.)

Russ Towne's A Grateful Man

I love this cartoon and it’s message, and have learned that perhaps the most important time to show I care is when I’m most angry. When I can say “I love you” and mean it at a time when many other types of less-desirable feelings and words are bubbling up, they’ll know my love will always be there for them. It also reminds me how much I care for them and helps me to get over my anger sooner.

Love is caring even when you're angry

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Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Collateral Compassion and Kindness

Posted on August 27, 2013 by russtowne

(A re-post for newer readers of this blog.)

When you see a man led to prison say in your heart, “Mayhap he is escaping from a narrower prison.” And when you see a man drunken say in your heart, “Mayhap he sought escape from something still more unbeautiful.” -Kahlil Gibran (Source: Wordsmith.org)

I believe there is much wisdom in these words, and in compassion. When I find myself short on compassion, a little wisdom often goes a long way to remedy the situation.

I rarely feel anger for more than a few seconds or minutes, and hate is an emotion I thankfully purged from myself long ago for completely selfish reasons.

But when I feel disappointment, it typically turns to understanding and then compassion (and sometimes even love on my better days) when I take the time to learn the whole story behind a person’s actions or situation.

I do all of these things for myself, as my life and my world are made better when I do them. If in the process, others receive collateral compassion and kindness, I’m gladdened by it.

With Love,
Russ

Posted in Compassion, Joy & Happiness, Kindness, My Beliefs | Tagged compassion, Kahlil Gibran, kindness, Love, my beliefs, quote, understanding, wordsmith.org | 4 Comments

Don’t Smile!

Posted on August 25, 2013 by russtowne

(A repost for newer folks to this site.)

My Beloved and I found that one of the hardest things about disciplining our young children was staying serious when scolding them—especially when every instinct in our bodies and minds wanted to smile or burst out laughing.

For example, call us weird, but it was funny to us when one of little boys was potty-training peed in the cat litter box—-at least the first time he did it. (It got a LOT less funny when he kept doing it and then did it when we had guests over.) But either way, we couldn’t laugh or it would spoil the lesson we needed to teach.

And sometimes, even when we couldn’t laugh, we did. I know; Bad Parents!

What made it even worse is when, for example, one of us attempted to keep a straight face while explaining to the child why they shouldn’t stick pudding in their sibling’s ear, while our dear spouse cracked up with laughter.

We began to make up rules for each other:

“When I’m scolding a child, don’t smile, giggle, snicker, laugh, or guffaw, and for goodness sake if you are going to do those things please do it in another room, and if you won’t do that, please at least stand behind the kid and do it silently so they don’t see or hear you doing it!”

In our house, trying to enforce rules with our spouse tended to be more like making suggested guidelines. We are both wired in such a way that a demand or ultimatum is GUARRANTEED to produce the exact opposite effect of whatever the original demanded outcome was supposed to be. So we both learned it was MUCH better to request or negotiate rather than to make demands.

Anyway, back to disciplining the kids. They started getting wise to our ploy of being serious when they were facing us while their other parent (the one standing behind them) did their best remain silent as they exploded with laughter. The kids started to quickly, and without warning, turn around to try to catch the parent behind them with anything other than a serious face.

Woe to the parent who got caught!

Of course, as soon as the child turned their back on the parent who’d be standing in front of them, the roles would reverse and Ms. Smiley Pants had to be Ms. Serious, and then I could go from being Mr. Serious to Mr. Smiley Pants, or vice versa.

Now, we’re grandparents and we get to watch our adult children go through the same thing with their children. Unfortunately, the expect us not to smile when our darling grandchildren are being scolded. My Beloved and I manage to comply with such requests.

Well, at least most of the time. ;-D!

Posted in Children, Family, Family "Fun", Fun, Parenting, True Stories I've Written | Tagged child, children, discipline, fun, humor, parenting, scolding, wife | 6 Comments

Something I Learned About Myself

Posted on August 24, 2013 by russtowne

When the packages containing the physical proofs of my first two books arrived, I was quite surprised that rather than being excited and anxious to open them–like a young child at Christmas–I was reluctant to do so. I put the packages aside and worked on other things for a while. It was a most unexpected reaction.

It took me some time to figure out why I was reacting that way, then it dawned on me. I love the process of writing and developing children’s books, and learning and managing the most effective and quickest ways to get them published. That’s where the fun, juice, learning, and growth are for me.

Once I held the physical proof in my hand, that signaled the end of the race, and the end of the fun relating to the creation of that book. Everything beyond that point for that book would feel anti-climatic.

I made sure to take a little time to savor the moment, but it took a conscious act to do so, and for me it was bittersweet.

I think that is also the reason why I like to have multiple projects under various stages of development all the time. Each project has points at which there is nothing to do but wait (for the illustrations, layouts, printer, mail delivery, etc.) Waiting would frustrate and bore me.

With multiple projects, I always have something fun to do and always feel as though progress is being made.

Still, it isn’t all about the process.

I’m filled with joy when I think of reading my stories to my grandchildren when they become old enough, and that my books may bring smiles and laughter to other children and their families.

With Love,

Russ

Posted in Children, Creativity, Fun, Growth/Learning, Joy & Happiness, Writing | Tagged "Clyde and I", author, children, children's books, children's stories, Cyde and I Help a Hippo to Fly", Grandchildren, growth, Grumbly Grumpadinkle, kindness named Love, learning, pet kindness named Love, printing, publishing, Rusty Bear, Rusty Bear and Thomas, self-publishing, Too, Wendly Goodlight, writing | 10 Comments

Full-Color Sketchiness and Poetic Silly Ideas

Posted on August 24, 2013 by russtowne

If you haven’t checked out my other blogs lately you’ve missed out on a lot of full-color sketchiness and poetic silly ideas.

At A Grateful Man’s Poetry http:agratefulmanspoetry.com I’ve shared two brand new poems.

At Clyde and Friends http://clydeandfriends.com I’ve shared a sneak preview of my silly thought process as I develop a brand new children’s story and how I ended up with a frog named Todd and a toad named Fred. The frog and Fred are friends and Toad and the Toad rode the bull. Why not come along for the ride?

At Rusty Bear at http://rustybear.me I share more full-color sketches and the applicable text from my latest children’s book “Rusty Bear and Thomas, Too” scheduled for release at the end of next month. Come join the adventure!

With Love,

Russ

Posted in Adventure, Project Updates for Children's Stories/Poems I Wrote | Tagged author, children's books, children's stories, Fred and the Frog are Friends, Fred the Toad, poetry, Rusty Bear, Rusty Bear and Thomas, Todd and the Toad Rode the Bull, Todd the frog, Too, writer | 4 Comments

A Child’s Smile and Laughter

Posted on August 23, 2013 by russtowne

I often write children’s stories and books with very silly characters and situations. That because I love to see children smile and laugh.

Sadly, there are many children who don’t have much to smile or laugh about.
Many are fighting for their lives, are seriously ill with chronic diseases, or struggle with other very painful or debilitating conditions (such as burn survivors, or survivors of sexual assault or other severe abuse.)

I would like to make a positive difference in many of their lives, and to give such children a reason to smile, and perhaps even to laugh. One way I’m doing this is by giving many of my books to such children as gifts, with a note that acknowledges what they are going through and tells them that they are one of my heroes and that I’m thinking of, and rooting for, them.

Perhaps in some cases I may even be able to include a brief poem about the child that might include a character from one of my books, or send colorful and humorous illustrations from the books that they can hang on their walls, or greeting cards with the characters on them and signed by me or one of the characters, or maybe even in a few cases dedicating a future book to them, etc.

I’d love to help ease the suffering and/or bring joy to such children, even if only for a moment.

Do you know of children in such situations for whom such a gift might help them? If you do, please contact me via my email address at russtowne@yahoo.com or send this post and my email address to their parents or guardians with the invitation that they contact me.

I’d prefer the referrals be to individual families (rather than just something like a children’s hospital) as I’d like to make these gift personalized to the needs and situation of each child.

You are, of course, welcome to mention your own young family members who are going through such challenges.

Also, I’d be happy to have you forward or re-blog my post and email address hopefully to spread the word around the world.

Thank you!

With Love,

Russ
P.S. Please make no mistake about my intentions and motivation. This is a gift I’m giving to myself. I can think of very few things in the world that would bring more joy to me than to do this.

Posted in Challenges, Children, Healing | Tagged abuse, burn survivors, children's books, gifts, ill children, illustrations, notes, poems, seriously ill children, survivors | 9 Comments

“So Many Caring People In This World”

Posted on August 23, 2013 by russtowne

(This is a re-post for newer readers.)

“When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, ‘Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.’ To this day, especially in times of ‘disaster,’ I remember my mother’s words, and I am always comforted by realizing that there are still so many helpers … so many caring people in this world.” -– Mister Rogers

One of my heroes is Fred Rogers (also know as Mr. Rogers on his children’s television show. It wasn’t that he was a celebrity. They are a dime a dozen in today’s world. I probably only watched a total of 15-30 minutes combined of all of his episodes as I was channel surfing. I knew very little of him when his show was on. From his television persona I thought he probably was a gentle man, but perhaps a little weird.

A few years ago my middle son sent an audiobook to me that he had just read about Mr. Rogers with a strong recommendation to listen to it. I thought I’d be bored based on the subject matter but gave it a try.

Instead, I became fascinated by the man, his kindness, compassion, goodness, and his vision and mission regarding communicating with children in ways that help them to deal with their fears, questions, insecurities, curiosity, etc. He spoke to them as a trusted friend. He didn’t care how many adults made fun of him. He was even made fun of on Saturday Night Live. That didn’t matter to him. The children of the world did. He loved them and they loved him.

I more recently learned that he came out of retirement shortly after September 11, 2001 happened and made a special show to talk to the children and help them work through what they had heard and what they were feeling about the events and reactions of that tragic and fateful day.

I wish he was here to do the same after recent tragedies.

I didn’t know him, but I miss his presence in our world. I would have liked to have been his friend and would have been proud to have called him a friend of mine.

With Love,
Russ