The Dreaded Couch

A recent post mentioned a married couple sharing a bedroom and in a comment an internet friend said something about being married for 28 years and sharing the same bedroom all that time. That got me to thinking about an agreement that Beloved and I made many years ago:

When we get into disagreements, whoever is the angry party and doesn’t want to sleep in the same bed with their spouse is the one who sleeps on the couch. That has saved me a LOT of couch time! Which is a good thing because I’m about 2 feet too long for the couch!

It has also been an excellent motivator to help us to more quickly work through our disagreements!

Russ

Posted in Anger, Choices, Family "Fun", Forgiveness, Growth/Learning, Humor, LIfe Lessons, True Stories I've Written | Tagged , , , , , , , | 14 Comments

More Wedding Day Confessions (Sigh…)

Beloved and I were young when we got married. And we must have looked even younger than we were. I say this because when Beloved and I decided to stop at a motel on the way to our honeymoon location the manager took one look at us and refused to book a room to us assuming we were just two young lovers using her hotel for a quick fling. This is despite the fact that we both wore wedding rings. (I guess she’d seen that ploy before.)

We didn’t know where the next motel was and were completely exhausted from planning for the wedding, the wedding itself, and the reception afterwards, and I was in no mood to have to deal with the manager’s efforts to attempt to protect my bride’s virtue from me.

Uh oh! I just remembered another reason we were so exhausted and decided to stop there:

We’d driven many miles in the wrong direction and had to turn around and drive that many miles back.

I’d missed a turn.

But not just any old turn. Did I mention that the turn was to a SIX LANE FREEWAY with lots of highly visible signs practically shouting “TURN HERE YOU IDIOT!”?

That’s how tired we were when I missed the turn. You can imgine how much more tired we were when we made the long round trip just to get back to that point. It was then that we saw the motel and knew it was time to drive no further that night.

Back to the hotel lobby: I went to Plan B and told the manager that the marriage certificate–it’s the one I’d mentioned in an earlier post that I’d accidentally ripped and then like an idiot tore some more–and I’d go get it. (Plan “C” was to call the police. I was getting pretty upset at this point.)

The manager backed down and gave a room to us.

Looking back on it, some of the manager’s reluctance may have been my fault. (So, what else is new?) Time for yet ANOTHER confession related to my wedding. (Sigh.)

I’d been so wrapped up in getting everything ready for the wedding that it wasn’t until sometime after 6pm on a Saturday night–the night before the wedding–that I remembered that I hadn’t gotten a haircut.

And my hair was longer than it had ever been.

It had been cut military length all through high school (due to my USMC Jr ROTC class) when nearly all the rest of the boys had long hair, so when I got out of high school I’d let it grow. And grow. With the intention of getting it cut before my wedding.

Have you ever tried getting a haircut at a barber shop at 6:30pm on Saturday? I have, and I learned yet another lesson the hard way that night. I drove all over town and never found one that was open.

So there I was standing at the end of the aisle with hair that looked like a cross between something out of a disco movie and what you’d find on a man in a VW bus with psychedelic paint all over it.

I can just imagine what Beloved’s relatives must have thought as they saw her walking down the aisle toward me. There were probably some badly bitten tongues that day!

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For Our Own Benefit Too

Life is a difficult ride. At times all of us will know pain, trouble, loneliness and struggle. That’s why it is so important for us to practice love and kindness. For your own benefit, as well as for others.

I saw the above paragraph at http://istopforsuffering.wordpress.com/
I enjoy, gain value from, and am often touched by that blog, and whole-heartedly believe in the wisdom of this saying.

Russ

Posted in Challenges, LIfe Lessons, Loneliness, Love, Making the World a Better Place, Pain & Grief, Quotes I Love | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Beloved Can Relate TOO WELL To This Joke

When the Jones family moved into their new house, a visiting relative asked five-year-old Sammy how he liked the new place.

“It’s terrific,” he said.

“I have my own room, Mike has his own room, and Jamie has her own room.

But poor Mom is still in with Dad.”

today’sTHOT============================

If a tomato is a fruit, does that make ketchup a smoothie?

=======================================

PASS IT ON!
Yeah, you can send this Funny to anybody you want. And, if you’re REAL nice, you’ll tell them where you got it! http://www.mikeysFunnies.com

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The Antidote For Fear And Anger

I collect quotes and sayings. I even use what I consider to be the best of them (what I call “Truisms”) as affirmations. So in my travels, when I see a quote I like I tend to write it down. I saw the quote below some time ago but now I don’t recall if it was at someone’s blog or elsewhere, so if you recently shared it at your blog please say so in a comment and I’ll happily give your blog credit for it.

The Antidote for Fear and Anger

“Gratitude is the antidote to the two things that stop us which are fear and anger. Fear is why we don’t take action, and anger is why we get stuck.” –Tony Robbins

In that case, I’m doubly grateful to be such a grateful man! ;-D!

Russ

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Things Worth Believing In

One of my favorite movies is Secondhand Lions. Below is a quote from it that I love. It is a scene where an old man (portrayed by Robert Duvall) tells a young boy about things worth believing in:

“Sometimes the things that may or may not be true are the things a man needs to believe in the most. That people are basically good; that honor, courage, and virtue mean everything; that power and money, money and power mean nothing; that good always triumphs over evil; and I want you to remember this, that love… true love never dies. You remember that, boy. You remember that. Doesn’t matter if it’s true or not. You see, a man should believe in those things, because those are the things worth believing in.”

Posted in Choices, Courage, Growth/Learning, Inspiring, LIfe Lessons, Making the World a Better Place, Observations, Quotes I Love, Stories That Touched Me, Vids & Stories That Touched Me | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 11 Comments

An Old Guy and a Bucket of Shrimp

An aunt sent this story to me today. I enjoyed it and thought you would too. I haven’t verified the accuracy of the story. I often find value in stories whether they are true or not. This one falls into that category to me which is why I haven’t checked it out—-along with a large dose of laziness and busy-ness.

Russ

Aspire to inspire before you expire!

An Old Guy and a Bucket of Shrimp

It happened every Friday evening, almost without fail, when the sun resembled a giant orange and was starting to dip into the blue ocean.

Old Ed came strolling along the beach to his favorite pier. Clutched in his bony hand was a bucket of shrimp.

Ed walks out to the end of the pier, where it seems he almost has the world to himself. The glow of the sun is a golden bronze now.

Everybody’s gone, except for a few joggers on the beach.

Standing out on the end of the pier, Ed is alone with his thoughts…and his bucket of shrimp.

Before long, however, he is no longer alone.

Up in the sky a thousand white dots come screeching and squawking, winging their way toward that lanky frame standing there on the end of the pier.

Before long, dozens of seagulls have enveloped him, their wings fluttering and flapping wildly.

Ed stands there tossing shrimp to the hungry birds.

As he does, if you listen closely, you can hear him say with a smile, ‘Thank you. Thank you.’

In a few short minutes the bucket is empty. But Ed doesn’t leave.

He stands there lost in thought, as though transported to another time and place.

When he finally turns around and begins to walk back toward the beach, a few of the birds hop along the pier with him until he gets to the stairs, and then they, too, fly away.

And old Ed quietly makes his way down to the end of the beach and on home.

If you were sitting there on the pier with your fishing line in the water, Ed might seem like ‘a funny old duck,’ as my dad used to say. Or, ‘a guy who’s a sandwich shy of a picnic,’ as my kids might say.
To onlookers, he’s just another old codger, lost in his own weird world, feeding the seagulls with a bucket full of shrimp.

To the onlooker, rituals can look either very strange or very empty.

They can seem altogether unimportant …. Maybe even a lot of nonsense.

Old folks often do strange things, at least in the eyes of Boomers and Busters.

Most of them would probably write Old Ed off, down there in Florida .

That’s too bad. They’d do well to know him better.

His full name: Eddie Rickenbacker. He was a famous hero back in World War II.

On one of his flying missions across the Pacific, he and his seven-member crew went down.

Miraculously, all of the men survived, crawled out of their plane, and climbed into a life raft.

Captain Rickenbacker and his crew floated for days on the rough waters of the Pacific.

They fought the sun. They fought sharks. Most of all, they fought hunger.
By the eighth day their rations ran out. No food. No water.

They were hundreds of miles from land and no one knew where they were.

They needed a miracle.

That afternoon they had a simple devotional service and prayed for a miracle.

They tried to nap. Eddie leaned back and pulled his military cap over his nose.

Time dragged. All he could hear was the slap of the waves against the raft.

Suddenly, Eddie felt something land on the top of his cap. It was a seagull!

Old Ed would later describe how he sat perfectly still, planning his next move.

With a flash of his hand and a squawk from the gull, he managed to grab it.

He and his starving crew made a meal–a very slight meal for eight men–of it.

Then they used the intestines for bait. With it, they caught fish, which gave them food and more bait.

And the cycle continued. With that simple survival technique, they were able to endure the rigors of the sea until they were found and rescued (after 24 days at sea.).

Eddie Rickenbacker lived many years beyond that ordeal, but he never forgot the sacrifice of that first life-saving seagull. And he never stopped saying, ‘Thank you.’

That’s why almost every Friday night he would walk to the end of the pier with a bucket full of shrimp and a heart full of gratitude.

Reference: (Max Lucado, “In The Eye of the Storm”, Pp..221, 225-226)

PS: Eddie started Eastern Airlines.

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Some Gifts I’d Love to Return

My last post where I said tough times are “lesson-rich” may have come across as glib. It wasn’t meant to be. While I believe challenging times are indeed lesson-rich and hold gifts for us, there are quite frankly some gifts I would have loved to return.

In recent years my Beloved lost her thyroid to cancer, went through a breast cancer scare shortly afterwards, our daughter was diagnosed with an “incurable” disease that nearly killed her and put her in intensive care for weeks and the hospital for over a month requiring many blood transfusions and for much of that time we didn’t know whether she was going to live or die, and an 18 year old business that I’d founded and ran died.

I share these “lesson-rich” gifts with you to show that when I use those words I truly understand how much pain, fear, despair, grief, etc, can accompany them—or at least I know how much my family and I experienced them.

As each of those challenges were happening I’d have gladly returned those “lesson-rich gifts” or exchanged them for an end of the pain, fear, despair, and grief.

But as my family and I survived each of these difficulties, we grew stronger, more confident that we can face whatever life throws at (err, I mean “offers to”) us. We are better people for having gone through such times.

And I’d be perfectly happy not receiving any more such lesson-rich gifts for a long, long time.

Russ

Posted in Challenges, Dealing with Pain & Grief, LIfe Lessons, Observations, Pain & Grief | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 9 Comments

Lesson-Rich Windstorms

A lot of people are going through some very challenging (I like to think of them as “lesson-rich”) times right now.

I saw this quote from wordsmith.org that seemed to fit the situation fairly well:

“Should you shield the canyons from the windstorms you would never see the true beauty of their carvings.” -Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, psychiatrist and author (1926-2004)

So if windstorms are howling all around you right now, may they soon expose even more of the beuaty of your spirit.

One great thing about windstorms–even the most fierce–is that sooner or later they blow over.

Anchor yourself to your spirit and nothing can blow you away. It can keep your feet on the ground when the winds are howling, give you wings to soar when gentle breezes return, light your way in the darkness, warm you when the world seems so cold, and help you to connect with others in wonderfully deep and powerful ways.

Russ

Posted in Challenges, Growth/Learning, LIfe Lessons, Pain & Grief, Quotes I Love | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Without the Statues

Another response to a comment I wrote today reminded me of a story set in ancient Rome or Greece, where someone who had observed many statues of great leaders asked the current leader–who was widely considered to be one of the best leaders ever–why there were no statues of him. The great leader replied: “When I’m dead, I’d rather that people ask why there are no statues of me instead of why there are.”

That’s kind of how I view my life. I’d like to live the kind of life that is statue-worthy, but without the statues.

Russ

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