Hello Again

It has been nearly a month since my last post. Much has happened during that time. I plan to update you all when I come up for air. It may be another two to four weeks before I get back to regularly posting again.

In the meantime, a dear friend has someone in his life who is going through very dark times. My friend is struggling with how to be there for the person. Below is my feedback to him. I post it in the hope that it may help others in a similar situation.

With Love,


Just being with someone in pain (whether emotional or physical) can be hugely comforting to them. I often just sit with them, taking my cues from what they let me know they need.

Some just want to sit in silence. Words can get in the way, and silence can be eloquent.

Sometimes they need to vent, to spew anger, bleed pain, or speak their fears to someone who will listen and stay in their fire with them.
I’ve found that most who want or need feedback let me know by asking questions. In those cases, what usually works best for me is to speak my truth from a loving place. It helps me to stay focused on the hope that everyone involved in the situation ultimately experiences lasting happiness.
Some need to be touched, whether a hug, an arm over the shoulder, or to be literally held up when they can no longer stand on their own. I tend to go with my gut on this and adjust as the situation warrants.
Your time and caring are great gifts you are giving.  May they help him to ultimately experience lasting joy.

About russtowne

I'm awed by the beauty of nature and the power of love and gratitude. Some of my favorite sensory experiences include waves crashing on rocky shores, waterways in ancient redwood and fern-filled forests, and rain. My wife and I have been married since 1979. We have 3 adult children and 5 grandchildren. I manage a wealth management firm that I founded in 2003. My Beloved is a Special Education teacher for Kindergartners and First Graders. I'm a published author of approximately 60 books in a variety of genres for grownups and children.
This entry was posted in Adversity, Connection/Connecting, Dealing with Pain & Grief, Pain & Grief, Relationship Lessons Learned and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

37 Responses to Hello Again

  1. Well it is good to hear you are not dead

  2. russtowne says:

    That is always a good start!

  3. J says:

    thank you for the advice

  4. ksbeth says:

    good to see you again, russ and as always you have such kind and thoughtful words for those who need them –

  5. I’m just chuckling at Jo-Anne’s comment! Hope all is well and that you are able to deal with everything that is going on Russ.
    Diana xo

  6. I’ve been wondering what has happened… hope all is okay with you and loved ones… Diane

  7. Allison says:

    How beautiful, Russ. So glad to see you back again 🙂

  8. Val Boyko says:

    I’ve missed you Russ… But it sounds like your presence has been needed elsewhere. The greatest gift we can give to someone who is suffering is simple being there, listening with empathy. Lovely post Russ!

  9. billgncs says:

    Hi Russ – sorry about your friend – but glad you are ok.

  10. Beautifully said Russ ~ perfect advice! I am happy to see your smiling face again. We have missed you! ♥

  11. Life is busy but good to see you. This is compassionate and warmhearted advice. 🙂

  12. Kristi says:

    Wise words, Russ. Silence and just being there can really be enough. Good to hear from you! 🙂

  13. Patty B says:

    Glad to see you are back. You are helping your friend by being there for him/her so they can be there for their friend, it is a never ending circle on how we help each other. Blessings!

  14. utesmile says:

    Great to see you Russ and wonderful words of wisdom! I know you are a wonderful friend to all and specially when someone needs you!

  15. Oh Russ, This is 100%. For me, it was just knowing I had an unconditional ear besides me…for the pain, anger, questions, tears,silence…and a set of arms to just hold me. Your words are a perfect service to you friend. I hope all turns out well!!! Hugs…H.

  16. jbw0123 says:

    Good advice. Hope your wild month leads to calmer times.

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