Russ Towne's A Grateful Man

Several years ago I accepted a friend’s invitation to go see Mata Amritanandamayi who is far more commonly known as simply “Amma” (which if I recall correctly means “Mother” in her culture). I apologize to readers of that culture for my ignorance. I certainly mean no disrespect to you or to Amma.

Many thousands come to visit and be hugged by Amma, so she is sometimes referred to as the “Hugging Saint”.

At the time of the invitation I knew nothing about her, but I trusted my friend and figured it would be an interesting adventure.

When we arrived, I was surprised by the huge crowd that had come to be hugged (and blessed?) by her. The longer I stayed among them the more I noticed how much love and kindness the crowd exuded. It was palpable.

I was impressed that so many kind and loving people would come to see her. Tens of thousands each visit.

I became more intrigued by the whole experience. There was such a huge crowd that numbers or pieces of paper with times on them –I don’t remember which—were given to each new person arriving. That way only a small subset of the people would have to wait in line at one time. Either way, although we’d come fairly early, it quickly became clear that the hugging was going to go on all night and that our turn would be sometime in the wee morning hours. It was a week night and we both had to work the next day.

My friend said that was not a problem with this crowd of people and he was right. When he mentioned our situation, two people with much earlier numbers or times stepped forward and volunteered to swap with ours.

Their kindness and generosity was wonderful to experience!

What was a bit less wonderful was that the two people weren’t from the same group and that meant that my friend and I would each see Amma separately, but it was no big deal because there were lots of things to do, foods to try, and interesting shops to check out while the other was in line.

My friend’s time/number came up first so he was hugged by Amma. Then it was my turn to get into the long line as my friend went exploring all the wonderfully rich sights, sounds, and aromas.

Gradually the line ahead of me got shorter, and then it was my turn. I approached her. She looked like a kind woman who was in her 50’s. Her hug was indeed loving and quite pleasant. I don’t recall exactly what accompanied her hug, but I believe she whispered something in her language into an ear of each person as she hugged them. Perhaps a volunteer translated what she said to the person being hugged, but I don’t recall. She may also have handed something (a token or a flower?) to each person as she hugged them. (I sure wish my memory was better!)

But it was what happened next that I will never forget. As our hug was complete and I began to move away from her to let the next person in line have their hug, Amma turned to a volunteer and said something to them in her language. The volunteer called to me and said that Amma had requested that I remain on the stage with her.

Her request caught me completely by surprise. I could tell that I was being honored by the request but had no idea as to why. I’d seen many people who had been in line ahead of me get their hug and go.

Why me? Why was I being asked to stay? I hadn’t spoken a word to Amma. Our eyes had met only briefly, and the hug probably only lasted 10-30 seconds (again, I don’t recall). I didn’t speak her language, was not from her culture, or her belief or tradition. (Though I heard later that when someone had asked her what her religion was she replied that her religion was love.)

I wanted to honor her request and thought it would be rude to leave, and I have to admit I felt honored by her request, so I stayed on the crowded stage as she continued hugging the never-ending line of people.

Time passed. I sat with the question, but no answers came.

I suddenly remembered my friend and that at some point he’d come looking for me in the huge crowd in the large multi-building site. I knew that he would know that my hug had ended quite a bit earlier and that it was very unlikely that he would look on the stage to find me.

As time passed I grew increasingly concerned that my friend wouldn’t be able to find me.

Ironically, at a time and place that I should have been relaxed and greatly enjoying the experience and the honor, I was getting increasingly anxious.

I was torn between possibly being disrespectful to Amma–a person who clearly was greatly respected by everyone there and who had honored me with her kind request–and letting my friend know where I was.

I kept looking for him in the crowd to motion to him and get his attention, but I never saw him.

The tension built inside me. I don’t recall if I eventually signaled to a volunteer that I had to leave or they could tell by my body language and pained expression that I needed to go and signaled that it was ok. Either way, while I was sad to go, I was also greatly relieved to be able to go find my friend.

I found him, explained what had happened, and we headed home.

I’m grateful for the gift Amma gave to me by asking me to stay, and I still sometimes wonder why Amma chose me from among so many others she hugged. I don’t know if I was the only one chosen—I greatly doubt it—-but I also doubt that it was random chance and I don’t recall seeing her choose anyone else during the fairly long time I was on the stage with her either.

I guess I’ll never know. And perhaps that is yet another gift she gave to me that night.

Thank you for the wonderful and mysterious surprise Amma!

Russ