“BOB HOPE JOKES
“I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape, so I got my doctor’s permission to join a fitness club and start exercising. I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors. I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for a whole hour. But, by the time I got my leotards on, the class was over.”
On milestones:
ON TURNING 70: “You still chase women, but only downhill.”
ON TURNING 80: “That’s the time of your life when even your birthday suit needs pressing.”
ON TURNING 90: “You know you’re getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.”
On TURNING 100: “I don’t feel old. In fact, I don’t feel anything until noon. Then it’s time for my nap!”
ON GIVING UP HIS EARLY CAREER, BOXING: “I ruined my hands in the ring. The referee kept stepping on them.”
ON NEVER WINNING AN OSCAR: “Welcome to the Academy Awards or as it’s called at my home, Passover.”
ON GOLF: “Golf is my profession. Show business is just to pay the green fees.”
ON WHY HE CHOSE SHOWBIZ FOR HIS CAREER: “When I was born, the doctor said to my mother, Congratulations, you have an eight-pound ham.”
ON RECEIVING THE CONGRESSIONAL GOLD MEDAL: “I feel very humble, but I think I have the strength of character to fight it.”
ON HIS FAMILY’S EARLY POVERTY: “Four of us slept in the one bed. When it got cold, mother threw on another brother.”
ON HIS SIX BROTHERS: “That’s how I learned to dance. Waiting for the bathroom.”
ON HIS EARLY FAILURES: “I would not have had anything to eat if it wasn’t for the stuff the audience threw at me.”
today’sTHOT=============================
Wasting time is an important part of life.
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PASS IT ON!
Yeah, you can send this Funny to anybody you want. And, if you’re REAL nice, you’ll tell them where you got it! http://www.mikeysFunnies.com”
With Love,
Russ
Russ Towne's A Grateful Man 
Good giggles! Thank-you.
I’m glad you enjoyed them. Thank you for letting me know.
Russ
Awsome! I remember him well! Thanks for the memories- Joan
Me too. Thanks for the memories indeed!
Russ
Love it love love it!
(BIG SMILE!)
😀
Lovely, made me laugh! Thanks
Glad to hear it. If I recall correctly, both Bob Hope and Cary Grant (two of my favorites!) were born in England.
Bob Hope was wonderful, wasn’t he? Thanks for the laughs today. 😀 😀
(Big smile!)
~{~_*}~~ ❤
so funny. and timeless.
Yes, and so missed.
He was a funny fella
Yup!
Now this post put a smile on my dsace first thing in the morning
That’s good to hear, bulldog. I’ll bet a smile looks good on you!