Bob Hope on Aging & Everything Else

“BOB HOPE JOKES

“I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape, so I got my doctor’s permission to join a fitness club and start exercising. I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors. I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for a whole hour. But, by the time I got my leotards on, the class was over.”

On milestones:

ON TURNING 70: “You still chase women, but only downhill.”

ON TURNING 80: “That’s the time of your life when even your birthday suit needs pressing.”

ON TURNING 90: “You know you’re getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.”

On TURNING 100: “I don’t feel old. In fact, I don’t feel anything until noon. Then it’s time for my nap!”

ON GIVING UP HIS EARLY CAREER, BOXING: “I ruined my hands in the ring. The referee kept stepping on them.”

ON NEVER WINNING AN OSCAR: “Welcome to the Academy Awards or as it’s called at my home, Passover.”

ON GOLF: “Golf is my profession. Show business is just to pay the green fees.”

ON WHY HE CHOSE SHOWBIZ FOR HIS CAREER: “When I was born, the doctor said to my mother, Congratulations, you have an eight-pound ham.”

ON RECEIVING THE CONGRESSIONAL GOLD MEDAL: “I feel very humble, but I think I have the strength of character to fight it.”

ON HIS FAMILY’S EARLY POVERTY: “Four of us slept in the one bed. When it got cold, mother threw on another brother.”

ON HIS SIX BROTHERS: “That’s how I learned to dance. Waiting for the bathroom.”

ON HIS EARLY FAILURES: “I would not have had anything to eat if it wasn’t for the stuff the audience threw at me.”

today’sTHOT=============================

Wasting time is an important part of life.

========================================

PASS IT ON!
Yeah, you can send this Funny to anybody you want. And, if you’re REAL nice, you’ll tell them where you got it! http://www.mikeysFunnies.com”

With Love,

Russ

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About russtowne

My wife and I have been married since 1979. We have 3 adult children and 4 young grandsons. I manage a wealth management firm I founded in 2003. My Beloved is a Special Education teacher for Kindergartners and First Graders. I'm a published author of 23 books in a variety of genres for grownups and children. In addition to my family, friends, investing, and writing, my passions include reading, watching classic movies, experiencing waves crashing on rocky shores, hiking in ancient redwood forests, and enjoying our small redwood grove and fern garden.
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18 Responses to Bob Hope on Aging & Everything Else

  1. inmycorner says:

    Good giggles! Thank-you.

  2. Joan says:

    Awsome! I remember him well! Thanks for the memories- Joan

  3. willowdot21 says:

    Love it love love it!

  4. utesmile says:

    Lovely, made me laugh! Thanks

  5. Bob Hope was wonderful, wasn’t he? Thanks for the laughs today. 😀 😀

  6. ksbeth says:

    so funny. and timeless.

  7. He was a funny fella

  8. bulldog says:

    Now this post put a smile on my dsace first thing in the morning

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