I’ve got a confession to make. I’m not proud of it. It is about how I’ve shown up–or NOT–for most of my life.
For example, I know at the logical level that by the time one reaches adulthood many people believe thr acknowledgment of birthdays should not be expected. I’m not one of them.
There was a time–perhaps as late as last year–when having a birthday was bittersweet to me at best. Not because of aging–I’ve found that each age has brought new gifts and understanding along with the stuff that people tend to not like about aging, so getting older has never bothered me. Perhaps it will some day, but not yet, and I’m grateful for that too.
No, the reason birthdays have been bittersweet has had to do with how few people even noticed that I was having one. I realize that this is all about my ego, and that ego is toxic to relationships, but it is my truth. Other than my immdediate family and usually a couple or few others, no one noticed. And that stung. I’m not saying that it should have stung, just that it did. Even all or nearly all of my siblings forgot.
I now know that this was far more about how I showed up in my relationships with them and other people than it was about awhat they did or didn’t do. In some ways that knowledge stings all the more. I would have preferred to have been much more mature (no pun intended) about the whole birthday thing, but I wasn’t, and I paid a price for it.
Then I began blogging in earnest in the last perhaps six months or so and sharing far more about myself, making myself more vulnerable.
And several miracles happened. I was accepted. Heck, I was downright showered with love. Your love. You all have honored me in wonderful ways and I’m very grateful. Thank YOU!
Interestingly to me, it wasn’t just in the blogosphere. While it doesn’t feel like I’ve changed at all outside the blogosphere, blogging must have brought recognizable changes to my other relationships too, because while very few people who know me read my blog–and I’m perfectly OK with that–all of a sudden this year I’ve been over overwhelmed–IN A GOOD WAY–with birthday greetings and wishes.
What has been especially stunning to me is that several times as many people in organizations and communities that I’ve been involved with for 10 or more years are all wishing me a happy birthday this year versus even last year.
I’m extremely grateful that so many people this year are taking the time to acknowledge me in such wonderful ways.
I believe the catalyst has been YOU. Your love, acceptance, encouragement, and support. Thank YOU for helping to make this birthday a miraculous and transformational one for me. I’m humbled and honored.
Love,
Russ
Russ Towne's A Grateful Man 
Wow!! That’s amazing – and I do think that this community serves us in our ‘in real life’ community [tho, with each passing day, this can sometimes feel as real as anything!] – it seems to me that they felt you brighten and responded! Amazing..and what a gift to see it and share it right back out to your blogging tribe!
I agree. It is amazing and wonderful! Thank you, Andrea!
Russ
OOOPS! I responded out of order. Sorry! Thank you, BONNIE!
Russ
No worries…and made me laugh! Thanks Bob, uh, I mean Russ!! 🙂
:-D!
I’m so glad we were able to give back even a little bit of what you give us each day! 🙂
You all give back a ton every day. I am blessed to have so many wonderful people in my life! Thank you, Andrea, and everyone!
Russ
Oh happy birthday ONE MORE TIME my dear Russ!!!!!! Thank you for sharing from your heart. I do believe the nicest kind of people who ask nothing in return and gives so much of themselves are sometimes glossed over compared to the trouble makers, attention grabbers, top dogs. Yet, nice undemanding people are some of the strongest people I know because goodness grows from a strong heart. Remember, the meek shall inherit the world 😀 A fan, Shaz
Thank you for such a beautiful message, Shaz, and for being a fan. I’m a huge fan of yours!
Russ
I love your observations, Russ. I, too, have found our blogging community to be so enriching and I think the energy that we share here does go out into the world and come back in lovely, surprising ways. It’s simply fascinating! Hugs, Cathy
Thank you, Cathy. Me too. I love the idea that bloggers all over the world are helping more people every day view the world globally and that we are one instead of just a bunch of warring tribes and nations
To me , the “We are all one” model makes so much more sense than lines on a map telling us who our friends and enemies are or must be.
I truly believe that bloggers are playing an important role in making the world a little more peaceful each year. I know that humanity will sometimes lose ground or backtrack in that arena sometimes. Growth is rarely linear. But I believe the overall trends are in the direction of greater peace, and that pleases me.
Russ
oh, boy !!! How is it possible I missed to notice your birthday?! Happy (very delayed) birthday wishes to you! Hope you had a wonderful day with your family and lots of cake and hugs?! Just for future record, what date is you birthday? 🙂
Yes, my birthday was wonderful. I have many blessings in my life, and you are one of them. Thank you! My birthday is 8/21/57.
Russ
Well, happy belated birthday, Russ! Isn’t is amazing how writing, becoming vulnerable, accepting oneself, and allowing yourself to receive love…really does make a difference in your life? May you have many wonderful years ahead to enjoy, write, love, and explore.
Thank you! Yes indeed. I wish all the same for you. Welcome!
Russ
Happy Belated Birthday! I understand that feeling when the birthday comes and nothing barely happens. I knew it was really my fault because I never made it a big deal but it was (and still is) a big deal to me. Perhaps, it is the Leo in me to feel this way. Fortunately, I made it a point to make my birthday special this year, even if the good times happened a few days after the actual date. It was one of the best and most insightful birthdays I’ve had to date. I am happy yours was just as great!
Thank you, Jolyn. Another Leo, huh? What day is your birthday? I plan to put it on my calendar for next year.
Russ
I meant to add that I’m glad you had a great birthday this year, Jolyn.
Russ
It is the 12th. 🙂 And just remind me of yours closer to the date. I am terrible with birthdays.
lol
Thank you, Jolyn. It’s on my calendar.
Russ