Kids Say the Funniest Things


Photo Credit: Ben White via

“Close the curtains,” requested a tot, sitting in a pool of bright light. “The sun’s looking at me too hard.”
Someone asked a youngster when he would turn 6. He replied, “When I’m tired of being 5.”
Seeing her first hailstorm, a 3-year-old exclaimed, “Mommy, it’s raining dumplings!”
As her gramma frantically waved away a pesky fly with a white dishtowel, the granddaughter observed, “Maybe he thinks you’re surrendering.”
When  a child heard that her aunt just had a baby and it looked like her uncle, she said, “You mean he has a mustache?”
While shampooing her son, 4, the mom noted his hair was growing so fast he’d soon need it cut. He replied, “Maybe we shouldn’t water it so much.”
When complimented on her vocabulary, the 5-year-old nonchalantly responded, “I have words in my head I haven’t even used yet.”
His mom informed Brian that she was going outside to get a little sun. “But Mommy,” he gulped, “You already have a little son — me!”
When a boy reported two look-alike classmates at school, his parents said they were probably twins. The next day, he came home all bubbly and said, “Guess what? They’re not only twins, they’re brothers!”
[forwarded by Gretchen Patti]
A teen-aged girl with spiked hair, lip rings and baggy clothes was overheard telling a friend, “I don’t really like to dress like this, but it keeps my parents from dragging me everywhere with them.”
Jokes Credit:
With love,

About russtowne

I'm awed by the beauty of nature and the power of love and gratitude. Some of my favorite sensory experiences include waves crashing on rocky shores, waterways in ancient redwood and fern-filled forests, and rain. My wife and I have been married since 1979. We have 3 adult children and 5 grandchildren. I manage a wealth management firm that I founded in 2003. My Beloved is a Special Education teacher for Kindergartners and First Graders. I'm a published author of approximately 60 books in a variety of genres for grownups and children.
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9 Responses to Kids Say the Funniest Things

  1. J callaghan says:

    Absolutely priceless! Made me smile. Thanks so much for sharing. Best, Joan

  2. JanBeek says:

    Thanks, Russ, I needed that humor today!

  3. ksbeth says:

    thank you so much for the laughs, russ –

  4. Thanks this post has made me smile

  5. russtowne says:

    Glad to hear it. I like making people smile, Joanne.

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