Humor, Trust, and Relationships

I tend to avoid sarcasm, tricks, practical jokes, or humor at the expense of another. I’ve seen the damage they can inflict on relationships, eroding trust, damaging self-esteem, and sometimes even destroying a relationship.

Because I’m so trusting of my friends, I can be quite gullible and therefore vulnerable to such things as practical jokes. My friends know that I won’t pull such things on them, and trust they’ll refrain from pulling them on me.

I have a dry sense of humor, and sadly, sometimes even my intended compliments have been mistaken as put-downs. I’ve learned that it pays to be extra mindful with what I write and say. I attempt to remember that if something CAN be misunderstood, sooner or later it WILL be misunderstood. I learned that from a colonel in the U.S. Marines who had experienced it in battle, where misunderstandings are often fatal.

I much prefer building people up to putting them—or letting them—down, and am blessed with friends who feel the same way.

With Love,
Russ

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About russtowne

My wife and I have been married since 1979. We have 3 adult children and 4 young grandsons. I manage a wealth management firm I founded in 2003. My Beloved is a Special Education teacher for Kindergartners and First Graders. I'm a published author of 23 books in a variety of genres for grownups and children. In addition to my family, friends, investing, and writing, my passions include reading, watching classic movies, experiencing waves crashing on rocky shores, hiking in ancient redwood forests, and enjoying our small redwood grove and fern garden.
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17 Responses to Humor, Trust, and Relationships

  1. billgncs says:

    wise words Russ! I am not diminished when you do well, nor am I better when you fail.

  2. You are such an amazing soul…that’s why we are all here with you! Thanks for being you!

  3. Mrs. P says:

    I’m with you, Russ. Having been the recipient of some of these, it’s not fun and people who do this really aren’t your friends. On the other hand, some people are really good at bantering back and forth with each other. When I see that, it is quite admirable because they are in such good communication that they are on the same wave length. Because I tend to be serious…or should I say, thoughtful…I sometimes have a hard time doing this friendly, non offensive type banter and wish I could do it better. It certainly lightens up a room when it happens.

    • russtowne says:

      Good points, Mrs P. I agree that friendly bantering can be fun for those engaged in it and for those observing it, so long as those doing it are aware of emotional landmines and wisely avoid going near them. I’ve run into trouble when I thought I knew where they all were and discovered the hard way that I didn’t.
      Russ

  4. Good points to live by Russ and I think you live them rather well!
    Diana xo

  5. I too am ‘gullible’ and often my family…usually my kids will say things that I take for truth and often react with shock and dismay only to find a smirk on their face …as much as to say ‘I got you again’ . Usually I just laugh it off but sometimes I’m embarrassed and wish they wouldn’t do it… but in my case there is no real hurt or harm done… When it’s done for unkind reasons… it’s just not right… Diane

  6. bulldog says:

    Wise words Russ, but I do enjoy a bit of a banter with those that know it is merely that… humorous banter…

  7. MCS Gal says:

    I agree with what you said. I personally think television has modeled how NOT to interact with people you should love and respect.

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