I believe I have changed far more in the last three years than during any prior 7-year period during my adult life.
People often talk of how much courage it takes to change, and that is often true.
After the fact, I’ve identified three major underlying fears that I had to face in order to change:
Losing those I love
It was at the moment when I realized that no matter how much or how little I chose to change, the people who truly love me will always love me, and those who don’t, won’t. It doesn’t matter what I do or don’t do.* That realization was a very freeing, enabling, and inspiring.
Even the risks of failing or feeling silly became much less daunting when I realized that I’d already often failed and done foolish things, and those who truly loved me stood by me, and even supported me until I could regain my balance.
The fears of losing those I love, failing, and looking foolish, were a toxic brew that crippled me for far too long. But as soon as they were dispelled by the powerfully potent truth, change took far less courage, and even became fun and relatively easy, leading to a personal creative renaissance unlike I’ve ever experienced.
*I’m not discussing issues of integrity or fidelity here. Mainly, it’s because I consider them givens in my life and in my relationships.