I think that most people who know me probably think that I’m a reasonably intelligent man. My Beloved knows better. Case in point:
Beloved and I got married when we were in our early 20′s, and right after our wedding ceremony we received a copy of what I thought was just a cute little souvenir certificate (mistake #1) of the wedding signed by the person officiating the ceremony and our two witnesses.
In my haste to begin our honeymoon I inadvertently laid heavy luggage on top of the marriage certificate (mistake #2).
As we began unpacking at our destination, Beloved noticed the wrinkled and slightly torn marriage certificate and handed it to me. I should have taken closer notice as to the look on her face (mistake #3) and if I had, and if I’d had a functioning brain cell in my head I might have found a way to salvage the situation.
But that was not to be my fate–-the lack of brains and the lack of salvaging the situation. In fact I made the situation far worse.
I know that you are probably wondering as to how anyone could be that stupid, and even if someone was that stupid, how could they make it any worse, but trust me, if a problem can be made worse I’m usually the one to find a way to do it.
As Beloved handed the mangled document to me I figured it was too far gone to be saved (mistake #4) and that we could just buy another one from the state that would have equal sentimental value to my Beloved (mistake #5), so in front of her I began to finish ripping it the rest of the way in two (Mistake # 6, 7, 8, to infinity).
As I was mid-rip, she screamed: “STOP!!! What are you doing to our marriage certificate!?!?”
That’s not quite how either of us had dreamed our honeymoon would start.
If she had killed me right then, I doubt if a jury would have convicted her.
And to her credit she didn’t end the marriage right then and there. Or maybe it just proves she isn’t quite as bright as people think she is either!
Whatever the reason, I’m eternally grateful that she has hung in there with me for all these nearly 34 years. It hasn’t always been easy, but it has rarely been boring!
And yes, we still have that original mangled 34-year old marriage certificate with a tear half way down it. It has gone through some tough times with us, but like our marriage, has always found the strength to stay together no matter what.