As most of you know, I’m a self-confessed slow learner in the school of life. Yet another example (sigh) is that I have been reading and enjoying FB posts from a dear friend named Bran Scott and often cracking up as he describes various aspects of his life including parenting, relationships, and living in the Southeast USA with his wife Elane and their young daughter. His posts are often hilarious. I’ve suggested that he write a book and hope he does. In the meantime–and here’s the slow-learner evidence–it eventually occurred to me that since I enjoyed reading Bran’s posts so much that you might enjoy them too. I asked for and received permission from Bran to share the post below. Please let me know what you think. If enough of you love it, I may be able to twist his arm to let me post more of them in the future.
Dear Friends and Relations,
In Elane’s absence this week, I have instituted four new house rules. While perhaps these were incidents limited to one particular person in my life, I am not taking any chances, and choose to distribute them widely.
Rule #1: You may not wake up at 6 in the morning, put on your 3-layered, sequins and faux-taffeta princess costume, complete with sparkly shoes and pointy tiara, and climb into my bed to snuggle me.
Rule #2: Having broken rule #1, you may not then poke me simply to see what happens (*poke* “Uhhgrr.” *poke* “UhGRRRR!” *poke* “UHRGRR!…Grh?” *poke* “whaza!?!” *poke” “What?! What is it? What?” (giggling) “daddy, you sound funny!”)
Rule #3: You may not prance around in front of me singing “follow the yellow brick road” at the top of your lungs as I attempt to find coffee.
Rule #4: When I have retreated into MY bathroom to scrape together some semblance of sanity, as I am shaving, you may not burst through the closed door, stop short, grab your nose and say, “whoa, daddy, you stink!”
Thank you for your understanding.