Out of the Mouths of Babes

I think these are great! From http://www.mikeysFunnies.com




JACK (age 3 )was watching his Mom breast-feeding his new baby sister… After a while he asked: ‘Mom why have you got two? Is one for hot and one for cold milk?’

MELANIE (age 5) asked her Granny how old she was. Granny replied she was so old she didn’t remember any more. Melanie said, “If you don’t remember you must look in the back of your panties. Mine say five to six.”

STEVEN (age 3) hugged and kissed his Mom good night: “I love you so much that when you die I’m going to bury you outside my bedroom window.”

BRITTANY (age 4) had an earache and wanted a pain killer. She tried in vain to take the lid off the bottle. Seeing her frustration, her Mom explained it was a child-proof cap and she’d have to open it for her. Eyes wide with wonder, the little girl asked: “How does it know it’s me?”

SUSAN (age 4) was drinking juice when she got the hiccups. “Please don’t give me this juice again,” she said, “It makes my teeth cough.”

DJ (age 4) stepped onto the bathroom scale and asked: “How much do I cost?”

CLINTON (age 5) was in his bedroom looking worried when his Mom asked what was troubling him. He replied, “I don’t know what’ll happen with this bed when I get married. How will my wife fit in it?”

MARC (age 4) was engrossed in a young couple that was hugging and kissing in a restaurant. Without taking his eyes off them, he asked his dad: “Why is he whispering in her mouth?”

TAMMY (age 4) was with her mother when they met an elderly, rather wrinkled woman her Mom knew. Tammy looked at her for a while and then asked, “Why doesn’t your skin fit your face?”

JAMES (age 4) was listening to a Bible story. His dad read: “The man named Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city but his wife looked back and was turned to salt.” Concerned, James asked: “What happened to the flea?”

[forwarded by Alistair McMillan]


Depend on the rabbit’s foot if you will, but remember it didn’t work for the rabbit.


About russtowne

My wife and I have been married since 1979. We have 3 adult children and 4 young grandsons. I manage a wealth management firm I founded in 2003. My Beloved is a Special Education teacher for Kindergartners and First Graders. I'm a published author of 23 books in a variety of genres for grownups and children. In addition to my family, friends, investing, and writing, my passions include reading, watching classic movies, experiencing waves crashing on rocky shores, hiking in ancient redwood forests, and enjoying our small redwood grove and fern garden.
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10 Responses to Out of the Mouths of Babes

  1. A few days ago my son asked me when Brother’s Day would be happening. I couldn’t help but laugh.

    • russtowne says:

      Ha ha! Sounds like a valid question to me!

      Speaking of brothers, my brother said his daughter asked awhile back, “When did the world go from black and white to color?” Since the movies and photos of a certain era were virtually all black and white, she had thought that the world was actually black and white back then! That seems like a logical conclusion based on the evidence she had!


  2. Jo-Anne says:

    STEVEN (age 3) sounds like my grandson Leo (age 4) he says thinks like that…………..children do say the funniest things at times and they are so cute when saying said things……….

  3. russtowne says:

    Leo sounds like a hoot to be around!

  4. mindfuldiary says:

    haha the pain killer joke is so good. Can just picture my boy saying something similar. ;D Kids are the best comedians on earth, funny without even realizing how funny they are.

  5. I can’t tell you how much these made me chuckle! I have four children and you never know what you’re going to hear around here. 🙂 Thanks for posting this!

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