Real Love and Long-term Relationships

I was recently asked to give a talk to a group of about 50 men on the subject of real love and being in long-term relationships. A list of suggested specific topics to discuss was incIuded but I felt that the list dealt almost exclusively with negative aspects of being in long-term relationships. Although each did have a role to play in such relationships and most of them had impacted mine in various ways, I felt they painted a negative, one-sided, and unrealistic view of real love and long-term relationships.

So, to put more balance into the talk, I came up with a list of things that I believe are positive aspects of true or real love and being in committed long-term relationships and thought you might be interested in my take of same:

Having true love and being in a long-term committed relationship have also provided many tangible benefits to me and my life including  the joys (both great and small), the fun, the laughter, the greater intimacy, the feeling of true partnership and of having someone who won’t abandon me when times get tough, the relief of having who nurses me when I am sick, the growth that comes from having someone whose very existence challenges me to become better and greater, who has brought my children into this world and enabled me to have grandchildren, who shares key dreams and morals, of co-creating a good life, a sounding board with my happiness at heart, someone who is able to provide a woman’s touch and point of view and softness and beauty into my house and make it into a warm and loving home, the adventure, the value of having someone who lets me be and become who I was born to be, and co-creates a home that is a safe harbor and a place of all the above.

 Russ

 

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Wants and Needs

What people want and people need
Are often very different things indeed!
–Russ Towne

Dear friends:

As a writer I sometimes get the nagging feeling that something I’ve just written and think of as my own creation might actually be something that is identical or materially similar to something I’d read or heard earlier. This is one of those times. I THINK I created it from scratch, but I do not wish to claim credit for something that isn’t mine.

I believe inadvertent plagiarism can happen to almost anyone. Even The Beatles once thought they had created a tune from scratch that turned out to be the music of someone else and was often being played on the radio at the time The Beatles wrote the identical tune.

Please let me know if you are aware that the poem or saying above—-or anything else that I think of as mine–should rightly be credited to someone else.

Thank you!

Russ

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The Change

The daunting gauntlet that was my life
Was full of stress and strain and strife
Felt only pain and misery
Hope seemed a distant memory
It was even hard to lift my head
Or get myself out of bed
Trouble seemed all around
Chains of fear kept me bound
Trapped deep within my lonely room
Imprisoned in a cramped cocoon
Darkness was both foe and friend
Wondered when my ordeal would end
Sadness seemed to be my fate
Thought all I could do was sit and wait
But waiting proved a waste of time
It didn’t change this life of mine
It took some action on my part
A major change inside my heart
Began to fix my attitude
View life through a lens of gratitude
Showed kindness to those in need
Found that even included me
Often stopped to smell the flowers
Put much more joy into each hour
Learned to appreciate all I had
Found lots of reasons to be glad
Followed my passion more each day
What was work now was play
Was amazed at just how fast
My life began to improve at last
Now my life is full of song
My heart held the answers all along

With Love,

Russ

Posted in Abundance, Adversity, Attittude, Breakthroughs, Challenges, Dealing with Pain & Grief, Gratitude, Loneliness, Poetry I Wrote | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 10 Comments

Love In Action

I saw this photo on Facebook. It brought a smile to my face and I think it will do the same for you, too. I don’t know anything about the subjects in the photo. Actually, that’s not quite true. I know there is kindness in the hearts and spirits of these two young men.

Russ

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Posted in Courage, Dogs & Other Wonderful Creatures, Ingenuity, Kindness, Making the World a Better Place, Photos That Touched Me, Youth | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

“The flower whithers, but the seed remains.” What a great and profound message! Thank you, Sticky Notes and Quotes, for sharing it.
Russ

stickyquote's avatarSticky Notes And Quotes

Oh heart, if one should say to you that the soul perishes like the body, answer that the flower withers, but the seed remains. | Khalil Gibran |

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I Dreamt

I just read a short poem that brought a smile to my face and led to a very pleasant stroll down Memory Lane. May it do the same for you:

I dreamt that my hair was kempt. Then I dreamt that my true love unkempt it. -Ogden Nash, poet (1902-1971)

Source: Wordsmith.org A.Word.A.Day with Anu Garg

Russ

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Creating A Good Life

I just read an interesting article about a World Gratitude Map and the remarkable woman who inspired it. Here are some snippets:

“…the World Gratitude Map, the idea of giving people the chance to create small moments for themselves to make themselves rich through their own action,” said Jacqueline Lewis, one of the project’s creators. Lewis is a writer with an interest in resilience, otherwise known as bouncing back.

She compares the map to a journaling exercise in which a person writes down three things for which he or she is grateful every day. Over time, she said, this practice shifts a person’s mindset.

“It is moving your mind over to this place where I think we should all be, which is to keep our eyes on all that is good, beautiful and possible in the world,” she said.

The remarkable story of one woman’s life and death refined Lewis’ interest in resilience and inspired the World Gratitude Map.

“I guess the most amazing thing about my mom is she lived a very small life” — she wasn’t famous, never had a great job or money, never made any high-profile accomplishments — “but people loved her,” Lewis said of her mother Joan Zawoiski Lewis, otherwise known as Joannie from Pringle.

Joan Lewis’ life had no shortage of hardship. Her brother was killed in an accident, her sister committed suicide, she nearly died from a massive hemorrhage while giving birth, her husband abused her and her children, and on May 7, 2011, she died of pancreatic cancer.

But it was how her mother died that caught Lewis’ attention. When Joan Lewis was diagnosed, she was told she would have weeks to live.

“My mom says, ‘Oh don’t make a fuss, just do something nice for somebody today and tell them to think of me,'” Lewis said.

Family and friends throughout the world reported doing good deeds in her name…

“While dying, her focus on these good deeds done by others kept her alive with end-stage pancreatic cancer past all reasonable prognosis,” Lewis said. “The [World Gratitude Map] gives the rest of us a chance to move our eyes in the same direction, perhaps derive the same benefit.”

Her mother lived 20 months after her diagnosis.

…Joan Lewis found a way to move her attention “to what is good and beautiful and possible in the world, and away from what is dismal,” Lewis said.

“She just created a good life,” Lewis said.

http://news.yahoo.com/gratitude-improve-life-154956153.html

“Creating a good life.” I like the sound of that.

Russ

Posted in Abundance, Adversity, Attittude, Challenges, Goodness, Gratitude, Kindness, Making the World a Better Place, Vids & Stories That Touched Me | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | 8 Comments

Belinda Bought Some Butter

You may have noticed how much I like using a lot of alliteration and substantial internal rhyming in my writing. I finally figured out when my fondness for same probably developed. When I was a young child I had a record (remember 45’s?) and on one side of it was a song that was full of alliteration. I played it so often that I ended up memorizing about half of it.

I’m not sure of the name of the song, but I think of it as “Belinda Bought Some Butter”. The part that I remember:

“Belinda bought some butter but she said, “My butter’s bitter. If I put it in my batter it will make my batter bitter.” So Belinda bought some better butter, put in her bitter batter and it made her bitter batter better.

“But Belinda understood that her batter wasn’t good so she said I think I’ll make some bread instead…” (Then I believe the song took off on a tangent focusing on words that began with the letter “D” but I don’t remember how the rest of it went.)

So now you (and I) know why I sometimes go off the deep end in my use of alliteration and internal rhymes…

Russ

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How a Daunting Gauntlet Became a Fun Zone

(This is a re-post with minor revisions.)

Some years ago I was standing in a long, long line at a major theme park in southern California. I was bored, hot, and tired. I stuck a hand in my pocket and noticed that a sizable pile of coins had built up from all the change I’d received from the various park vendors.

An idea came to me that made my whole experience so much more pleasant, and even fun. I took out a quarter, and when no one was looking tossed it onto the ground near the sidewalk on which we were standing very close to a young child. The soil softened the sound of the coin falling. The quarter shined brightly in the summer sun and sure enough the little boy saw and picked it up, excitedly exclaiming to his parents: “LOOK WHAT I FOUND!” He beamed from ear-to-ear. I smiled just as big on the inside. This was fun!

I whispered what I’d done to My Beloved so she could enjoy the experience too. I tossed a few more coins and got similar excited reactions from other children.

The serpentine line crawled along ever-so-slowly, and we eventually got to the point where pavement was all around us, and the noise of coins hitting the hard surface would soon give me away.

I experimented and found that I could drop a coin onto the top of my shoes and the coin would roll off quietly, partially muffled by the murmuring crowd. I waited until several young children were on both sides of us in the twisting line and as carefully and quietly as I could I began sending coins their way. It was great to watch the children as they found and showed off their prize to their parents.

We smiled at each other. Soon, other parents started catching me as I released the coins. They just gave knowing looks to me, grinned, and didn’t say a thing. One winked. It became even more fun as as other parents shared our little secret. They played their part by acting surprised at the treasure that the children discovered.

If a child didn’t see a coin near them, sometimes a parent would point at it and say to their youngster, “Oh look, what’s that?” That’s all it took to start the joyful reaction.

That simple idea was so much fun and cost so little that it was one of the best entertainment values I’ve ever had!

Now, long lines full of young children are opportunities rather than than the daunting gauntlets they sometimes used to appear to be. They are opportunities to bring joy and smiles to young children, their parents, My Beloved, and me.

Russ

Posted in Children, Family "Fun", True Stories I've Written | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

Thank you, Sticky Notes and Quotes for this timely quote/poem. Happy New Year everyone!
Russ

stickyquote's avatarSticky Notes And Quotes

When this New Year in time shall end Let it be said I’ve played the friend, Have lived and loved and labored here, And made of it a happy year. | Edgar Guest |

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Have A Happy New Year

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