In a comment to my last post, a reader asked why one person stays loyal and another breaks the heart of a devoted spouse.
Here was my reply:
My guess it’s as varied as each couple. It breaks my heart to hear such stories. My Beloved and I often say, “There but the Grace of God…” in gratitude. We’ve had moments when we wondered why we were still together, but the answers have always quickly come. I think our mutual focus on strengthening our relationship and improving ourselves rather than each other has helped us to stay together all these years. Our relationship is an appreciating asset in a world with many depreciating ones. Our stubbornness and selfishness also help. We’re too stubborn to give up on each other and too selfish to let go of the good thing we know we have.
May all hearts find a soul mate worthy of them.
With Love,
Russ
Russ Towne's A Grateful Man 
You’re blessed to have each other Russ. ❤
Diana xo
Thank you, Diana. I agree.
Russ
I relate to that “too stubborn” to let go and “too selfish” to give up on what we have part of why we’re still together after 54 years… but add a lot of prayer and divine help, too! Yes, we’re blessed!
Blessed indeed! I’m all for whatever works to help keep couples happy and together, Jan. Congratulations!
Russ
I thought that would have described us too, until the day my world exploded. That marriage vows could be broken or even worse; one could be asked to renegotiate the marriage contract to become monogamish. It’s heartbreaking, it really is.
I’ve sat in the fire with some who have experienced similar devastation and know that the word heartbreak is often an understatement. I’m truly sorry that you or anyone feels such agony.
Russ
Thank you for your kind words.
Having just that kind of relationship, I too wish all hearts could find a soulmate worthy of them. Just think how much more beautiful the world would be.
I agree, Mrs. P, especially for those who have recently been heartbroken. and for whom the pain lingers.
Russ
Sadly, I know what you speak of…and I agree!
you are so lucky to have each other and to believe in each other and yourselves. i recently went through an unexpected heartbreak and even though i know that it opens me up to new possibilities, it never gets easier does it?
I’m sorry to hear it, my friend. From what I know of you, I’d say a person would be quite lucky to have you in their life. No, I don’t think heartbreaks get easier. It can be difficult to believe in new possibilities when we believed so strongly in old possibilities. May someone worthy of you enter your life and form a relationship with you that neither of you ever want to leave.
Russ
Love your answer Russ. And still as people said in the comments, you think you are in such a relationship and then it does happen though. My heartbreak was years ago, saying that I am now in a very happy and more meaningful relationship which I don’t want to leave ever.
Thank you, Ute. I’m delighted you’re in a happy relationship. May both of you always find joy with each other.
Yes, I’ve seen the shock of loss be so terrible as to lead people to all kinds of awful places. Sometimes the loss comes from one or both of the partners, and other times death rips couples apart. I know that such an occurrence can come at any time to all of us, and it’s for that reason I focus on what I can control: Enjoying and being grateful for every blessing I’ve got for as long as I’ve got them.
Russ
This is EXACTLY it Russ. “Enjoying and being grateful for every blessing I’ve got for as long as I’ve got them. ” This is the right way!
Thank you, Ute. I also attempt to focus on blessings I had rather than on what I lost. Sometimes it has taken me a long time to get there, but the gifts that come from that approach make the effort well worthwhile.
Russ
Me too… I agree totally.