This post is dedicated to all who are in pain, feeling alone, broken-hearted, and/or grieving–or have been. In other words this is dedicated to everyone.
Part of being alive is experiencing pain. For many people, pain can lead to tears, and for some, tears pile shame onto their pain.
I believe that tears can be a sign and source of strength, of connectness, of being able to truly feel when so much of the world does all they can to get and stay numb.
Tears are a way of ackowledging I can STILL feel. I can feel my pain. I can feel yours. I haven’t given up on myself, on you, or on the world. I’m strong enough to hang in there despite the pain and the desire to numb it.
The tears are here to not only help heal but to enlighten–to literally lighten our load and illuminate a life lesson that must be learned so growth can occur. To help us to become wiser and stronger. And in the process to gain the courage to forgive and to show kindness and have empathy not only to friends, nor just to strangers, but to all who may have wronged or harmed us.
If tears are from pain today, they are a gift. Embracing them can lead to healing and help us to grow stronger. While it may or may not feel like it at the time, I believe that every tear is a step away from pain and toward the possibiities of greater joy in our lives.
And I know that some day more tears will come–for you and for me–for life offers many detours and obstacles from which we may learn and grow. But if we are patient, and if we continue to work on making ourselves the kind of people we so badly want to become, life will someday provide us with a very different kind of tears–tears of joy. And those are worth of every step, and every painful tear, that brought us to a more joyous life.
Until that day, please know that there are many in the world–most who have never even yet had the opportunity to meet you–who wish good things for you.
I am one of them.
Russ Towne's A Grateful Man 
I was brought up in way that taught me that the only acceptable emotion was anger. I learned to cry in my early 20’s and I later would say that God gave me the gift of tears…
I’m sorry to hear about your not being allowed to have the full range of emotions when you were growing up Diana, but I’m glad you were eventually given the gift of tears. That is a truly blessed goft. I hope that in addition to healing tears you’ve had many, many happy tears as well.
Russ
sure have! And I’m not upset at all about my upbringing. I am strong and resilient (I think) I know how to pick up the pieces and move on… š
That is a great way to look at it Diana! When I realized that some of the best parts of the man I came to be were in large part due to the toughest things I had to deal with as a child, I became grateful for what happened. I wouldn’t necessarily wish things like that to happen to anyone, but I’m grateful they happened to me nonetheless.
Russ
Yes. that totally makes sense to me.
I am certain a lot of people can relate to this post right now…I am one of them. Thanks for sharing
I am sorry to hear that you are going through a tough and sad time right now, Boomie. You are someone who brings a lot of smiles to my face with many of your posts. I hope I can return the favor. My world is better with you in it.
Russ
Thank you so much. I guess it’s one of those days…trying to fulfill my heart’s desire and passion and not even knowing how to go about it.
I feel like i have so much in me, yet i don’t know what to do with it all or how to make them manifest into my everyday life where I can impact lives and make a difference like I want to…it sure is tough been an adult.
Sorry for my mini rant…thank you
Hi, Boomie. I hear you. When I get overwhelmed by the big picture, I find that it helps me when I stop and take several deep breaths, and start focusing on the small picture for awhile. That gives my sub-conscious brain a chance to keep working on a possible answer while I distract my overly-active conscious brain with a chore, or with the beauty of a sunset or silhouette. Then, often when I least suspect it my sub-conscious provides the answer. I just have to give it a quiet space to do so.
In my case, if my mind feels too cluttered, I also unclutter another part of my life–such as my desk. It makes me feel better and gives me more room to breathe, think, and to simply be.
You have such a bright spirit that you almost can’t help but shine on others. Keep shining. Your own light will help guide your way.
Russ
Russ
Excellent post Russ! We think tears are important too.
Thank you my furry friends! My favorite tears are happy ones!
Russ
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Thank you for sending the love my way. Big hugs right back to you!
Russ
Thanks so much ~ good for you for following your heart when you write.
Thank you, there is so much I could say about tears and sadness right now but I won’t ramble on. I can’t yet say that it will be worth every step but somehow I am still walking. For now that will have to do.
take care
Hi, I responded to your comment earlier but now don’t see it, and didn’t want you thinking that I had ignored you!
Walking is good. And getting up each morning. And breathing. Iām not being glib. I know that sometimes that is about all one has strength for. But one day, when you are walking, you may notice a beautiful sunrise, the perfume of a flower, the chirp of a bird, and a glimmer of hope or a smile might begin to help the healing process along. I too have sat at the edge of the dark and deep abyss and felt itās allure.That is a terribly cold and lonely place. May you find light and warmth in the cold darkness from kindness and compassion recieved or given.
My thoughts are with you, as are my best wishes.
Russ
Again I find that your words are the very thing I needed. Today is a day for tears, we all have them, and as luck would have it, there are as many happy ones as sad ones. An odd feeling to have them both on the same day, for so very different reasons. This is an inspired and inspiring post Russ and I for one am glad you are “one of them”.
R
Dear new-found friend: I suspect that it is more than luck that brought as many happy tears to you today than sad ones. I believe that you have people in your life who have experienced glimpses of your wonderful spirit and chose to be part of your life. I am indeed one of them, if only in the blogosphere, but I find that is a plenty-fine place to be because people like you are in it.
Russ
Oh Lord…here I go again. Thank you for such a wonderful response to mine. Right now…I am happy tears 10 and sad ones 4. Not a bad day at all. I like the odds for tomorrow! you are a blessing.
R
So glad to hear it, Rhonda! I am basking in the warmth of your happiness!
Russ
Walking is good. And getting up each morning. And breathing. I’m not being glib. I know that sometimes that is about all one has strength for. But one day, when you are walking, you may notice a beautiful sunrise, the perfume of a flower, the chirp of a bird, and a glimmer of hope or a smile might begin to help the healing process along. I too have sat at the edge of the dark and deep abyss and felt it’s allure.That is a terribly cold and lonely place. May you find light and warmth in the cold darkness from kindness and compassion recieved or given.
My thoughts are with you, as are my best wishes.
Russ
You are a gift I just was given..what an inspiration you are..
Hi, Mimi. Thank you for your wonderfully kind comment. I view the situation a bit differently. I was attracted to your blog and life by the person you’ve worked to become. So in essence, I received the gift of you first! I’m just attempting to reciprocate!
Russ
You are indeed reciprocating with such generosity and kindness..so I’ll accede your position as the ‘first’…In turn I promise to be the enthusiastic second! š
Your comment brought a smile to my face. I appreciate your offer for yourto be an enthusiastic second, but I can’t in all fairness accept it for two reasons. The first is that my friends are all #1 in my book. The second is because I believe we both came in first when it comes to this budding friendship. So if you are willing to be an enthusiastic first I’ll gladly and humbly accept that great honor!
Russ
And you made me laugh …and yes., I will happily accept my position as a shared first!! Have a wonderful evening Russ!
I loved this post it really made me think of crying in a different way, I have always been one to cry when needed and sometimes when not needed yes I can be a teary eyes woman…………lol However this has made me think of my sister differently as she still crys even though she has been to hell and back a couple of times and now I will remember that her tears are a sign that she is still checked in to life………
“To hell and back a couple of times” sounds like some pretty awful journeys! I hope the road ahead for your sister is smooth and level for awhile. It sounds like she could use a break! I’m glad that you are choosing to view her tears in a different light.
Thank you for sharing this piece of yourself with us, Jo-Anne!
Russ
I liked your “Tears” post, and can certainly relate. After reading all the comments, I see you (and I) are not alone in the struggle to move from unimaginable grief and overwhelming pain to some better place where at least there are moments where we smile or even hope. It is difficult to express these deep emotions, especially in a way that helps others find that path to healing. Nice work, Russ. Beebee
Thank you, Beebee. With what you’ve been through your comments mean a LOT to me.
Russ
Such a beautiful post, Russ…the past month has been a harrowing one for me, and continues to be as I help out a close, very young family member who has just lost his father. Found your post uplifting and authentic- thank you š
Thank you for your kind comments. I’m glad that your close young family member has you to help him through such a painful time. I know that you’re being there for him, and I hope that you are taking care of yourself at the same time. As they teach in lifesaving class, in order to save someone else you’ve got to first be sure to save yourself or there is a good chance you’ll both drown.
May his positive memories of his father overwhelm his grief and bring healing.
Russ
Thanks so very much, Russ.
Anne