I think that most people who know me probably think that I’m a reasonably intelligent man. My beloved wife knows better. Case in point:
Beloved and I got married when we were in our early 20’s, and right after our wedding ceremony we received a copy of what I thought was just a cute little souvenir certificate (mistake #1) of the wedding signed by the person officiating the ceremony and our two witnesses.
In my haste to begin our honeymoon I inadvertantly laid heavy luggage on top of the marriage certificate (mistake #2).
As we began unpacking at our destination, Beloved noticed the wrinkled and slightly torn marriage certificate and handed it to me. I should have taken closer notice as to the look on her face (mistake #3) and if I had, and if I’d had a functioning brain cell in my head I might have found a way to salvage the situation.
But that was not to be my fate–the lack of brains and the lack of salvaging the situation. In fact I made the situation far worse.
I know that you are probably wondering as to how anyone could be that stupid, and even if someone was that stupid, how could they make it any worse, but trust me, if a problem can be made worse I’m usually the one to find a way to do it.
As Beloved handed the mangled document to me I figured it was too far gone to be saved (mistake #4) and that we could just buy another one from the state that would have equal sentimental value to my Beloved (mistake #5), so in front of her I began to finish ripping it the rest of the way in two (Mistake # 6, 7, 8, to infinity).
As I was mid-rip, she screamed: “STOP!!! What are you doing to our marriage certificate!?!?”
That’s not quite how either of us had dreamed our honeymoon would start.
If she had killed me right then, I doubt if a jury would have convicted her.
And to her credit she didn’t end the marriage right then and there. Or maybe she it just proves she isn’t quite as bright as people think she is either!
Whatever the reason, I’m eternally grateful that she has hung in their with me for all these 33 years. It hasn’t always been easy, but it has rarely been boring!
And yes, we still have that original mangled 33-year old marriage certificate with a tear half way down it. It has gone trough some tough times with us, but like our marriage, has always found the strength to stay together no matter what.
Russ Towne's A Grateful Man 
I have nominated you for the Versatile Blogger Award please go to my blog for details – judysp.wordpress.com – Congratulations. cheers Judy
Thank you, Judy! I appreciate it. I’m humbled and honored by your action..I’m still fairly new to the blogging game and am continuing to develop my list of favorite blogs ,etc, so it may be a while before I’m able to fully spread the love your award is intended for, but I plan to do so fairly soon.
Russ
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Thank you again, Judysp! I appreciate your kindness. I’m kind of backlogged in doing all the stuff one is asked to do to accept awards right now (I know that may sound arrogant, but it isn’t meant to be anything more than an acknowledgement and explanation as to time constraints.) So at a minimum, in the next 7 days I commit to you to check out a minimum of 10 blogs that I haven’t yet visited, mention at least 4 blogs in my posts, reblog at least two posts from other sites, and leave at least 5 comments and 20 “Likes”. In that way I can continue spreading the love and live to what I believe is the spirit of most awards. Hopefully that works for you!
Russ
Hi Russ, I am exhausted just reading all of that. Wow!
🙂
So, I gues I’ll take that as a “Yes”. ;-D! Thank you, judysp!
Russ
Loved this, Russ. I’m glad you discovered the error of your ways before it was too late! 🙂
Cathy
Thank you, Cathy. I’m a slow learner but I usuaslly eventually get there, in this case with a LOT of help from my wife.
Russ
Terrific story, Russ.
My husband went solo to get our marriage certificate (not the church version, but the city) and put down the wrong birthday for me. He claims that unless I adopt that as my official birthday we are not really married. I claim that it merely means that I married an idiot!
Hi, Elyse. LOL! That’s a fun story too. Thank you for sharing it. At least he had a more creative better reply than mine. I think I said something that really showed off my level of intelligence. Something like, “OOOPS!”
Well, if she let you live after that then it’s true love. 🙂
Good point! Thank you for your comment.
Russ