On the way home from our at-least-weekly Date Night this evening, I flashed back to the comments a good man said to my then-fiance’ and me 34 years ago, when we were about 20 years old.
We’d asked him to be the official at our wedding ceremony. He agreed to do so if we’d take a compatability questionaire. He gave it to all couples for which he officiated. We weren’t fond of the idea but knew the man to be kind and if he thought it was a good idea and the information might be useful to us, then it probably would be.
Once we each filled out a lengthy questionaire. When the results came back, he ushered us into his office, sat us down, and in in a solemn and sad voice said something to the effect that based on our answers to the survey we were both very stubborn and selfish, so stubborn and selfish in fact that the odds of us remaining married to each other were very small.
He tried to talk us out of marrying each other, or to at least seriously considering whether marriage to each other was a good idea based on the survey’s findings.
We agreed that we were both stubborn and selfish and acknowledged how that could be a huge challenge to a happy marriage, but we were in love and wanted to get married anyway.
And so we did, for we knew something that he didn’t:
We were both too stubborn to ever give up on each other, and too selfish to ever let the love we had for each other slip away.
Russ Towne's A Grateful Man 
My dear Russ! How very glad I am that you and your wife, young as you were, fixed your eyes on something greater and purer than yourselves – the love you had for each other. Stubborn and tenacious and willing to fight for what is worth defending shows also great spiritual stamina. I wish you and your dear wife another lifetime of love, beauty, inspiration and sweet companionship. May the best years be still ahead of you! With much love and admiration, Sharon
Awww, Russ. That’s so sweet. The last three paragraph made me melt. I’m you both didn’t listen. We can do anything if we want it bad enough. Great post!
Wonderful, Russ.
Dear Sharon, Shian, and Cathy:
Your comments were the first I’ve seen this morning. What a wonderful way to start my day!
Thank you!
Russ
Under that glib and tongue-in-cheek post about selfishness is a loving and generous heart. You can’t fool me. I can smell a softy a continent away! Stubborn maybe. Selfish? I have serious doubts!
Thank you, Jan. Your comments broadened my smile and warmed my heart.
I’ve come to learn that being selfish isn’t always a bad thing–as long as being selfish helps others. Take a look at my January 29, 2012 post about being a friend and how selfishness plays into it. Here’s a snippet:
“Being a friend to others is a promise I make to myself. It is one of the most selfish things I do. I attempt to avoid making promises to others and don’t need (or even want) them to make promises to me. My being a friend to someone really has very little to do with them. It is a gift I give to myself, as being a friend has often brought the greatest joys to my life.”
See? I’m very selfish. Interestingly, the more selfish I am in this way, the more that I’m viewed as being a kind and loving person. SHHH! Don’t tell anyone my secret! I’ve got a great thing going! ;-D!
Here’s the URL to the whole post (I hope):
Your grateful friend,
Russ