Dear internet friend Jan Beek recently kidded me in her kind way when I said I was selfish. I’ve learned that being selfish isn’t always a bad thing–as long as others are helped by my being selfish. Jan’s comments reminded me of a post I wrote way back in Janaury of this year, so I updated the title, changed the post ever-so-slightly, and am reposting it here. For those who have already suffered through it, my apologies. For the rest of you, Here goes:

I rarely say aloud the words “as your friend”, but I think them often. And, I almost never say or think the phrase ”as my friend” about anyone or in any context.

Being a friend to others is a promise I make to myself. It is one of the most selfish things I do. I attempt to avoid making promises to others and they don’t to make promises to me. My being a friend to someone really has very little to do with them. It is a gift I give to myself, as being a friend has often brought the greatest joys to my life.

I tend to be very good at sticking to promises I make to myself about others. I’ve learned that being a good friend, the kind of friend who attempts to be there when a friend is needed most, and who is grateful for the gift given by others when they share their grief, pain, loneliness, desperation, anguish, sadness, fear, shame, etc no matter the time of day or night whenever they need someone to help or merely to listen–-in other words attempting to be a friend without limits and without expectations, has brought many wonderful things to my life.

People will do or be what they are going to do or be. I attempt to focus on my actions and attitudes and have learned that when I do that my world becomes immeasurably better, and many of my relationships deeper and richer.

I hope that my actions inspire the trust, faith, courage, and confidence in others to call in such times of need, as it at those times that I often feel most alive, useful, worthy, trusted, and connected to that person and the universe.

Russ