One of the best decisions I’ve ever made was when I decided to focus on improving my relationships rather than trying to improve my wife, friends, partners, children, co-workers, and others.
When I focus on the relatiohsip I know that it is an investment in my and our future so I don’t feel resentment at the effort.
An added bonus is the other party often sees that I value the relationship with them enough to keep working to improve it. That mindset leads to a more positive atitude within myself and quite often within the other person.
If I were to focus on their behavior, comments, or attitude it would likely lead to resistence, denial and/or resentment on their part and mine.
I work on myself too, as I believe that is as important as focusing on the relationship. But it is when I stopped focusing on trying to fix others that my relatioship with them often dramatically improved.
I’ve heard it put another way: “When I’m judging someone I’m not loving them.”
May inner peace and lasting happiness be yours.