Buddhism, love and marriage

My Beloved was much more in tune with this wisdom since the beginning of our marriage 34 years go. It took me a long time and considerable effort and discomfort to evolve to it. Ultimately, we both found we needed to adjust expectations, and find the sweet spot between too much time together and too little. But when we found it and stay within it, it can be sweet indeed.
With Love,


“But let there be spaces in your togetherness
and let the winds of the heavens dance between you.
Love one another but make not a bond of love:
let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.”

~ Kahlil Gibran

I read an interesting article today on the Buddhist notion of love, and it’s really made me pause and re-evaluate my concept of what love is… and what it should be.

I must admit that in love, I can turn inwards, become insular, and all consumed.  However I am coming to realise that love is really about helping one another to face outward, not merely inward.

“In the Buddhist tradition, there’s no “tying the knot.” There’s no two candles, two souls “becoming one.” Instead of facing one another, completing one another (Jerry Maguire) and living happily ever after (which only happens in fiction and even then they never show

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About russtowne

My wife and I have been married since 1979. We have 3 adult children and 4 young grandsons. I manage a wealth management firm I founded in 2003. My Beloved is a Special Education teacher for Kindergartners and First Graders. I'm a published author of 23 books in a variety of genres for grownups and children. In addition to my family, friends, investing, and writing, my passions include reading, watching classic movies, experiencing waves crashing on rocky shores, hiking in ancient redwood forests, and enjoying our small redwood grove and fern garden.
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4 Responses to Buddhism, love and marriage

  1. mimijk says:

    Great post…and I have always loved that Gibran quote!

    • russtowne says:

      I agree that Megan’s post is a great one. I too have loved that Gibran quote since the first time I heard it. If I’d heard it 30 years ago, I probably would have disagreed with it, wouldn’t have understood it, or it would have made me uncomfortable. I guess even this old slow-learner on life can grow along the way. Thankfully!

  2. utesmile says:

    Lovely post and nice blog. Thanks! In a relationship/ in love you need to find the middle path of not being together too much and the other way round.

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