I was recently asked to give a talk to a group of about 50 men on the subject of real love and being in long-term relationships. A list of suggested specific topics to discuss was incIuded but I felt that the list dealt almost exclusively with negative aspects of being in long-term relationships. Although each did have a role to play in such relationships and most of them had impacted mine in various ways, I felt they painted a negative, one-sided, and unrealistic view of real love and long-term relationships.
So, to put more balance into the talk, I came up with a list of things that I believe are positive aspects of true or real love and being in committed long-term relationships and thought you might be interested in my take of same:
Having true love and being in a long-term committed relationship have also provided many tangible benefits to me and my life including the joys (both great and small), the fun, the laughter, the greater intimacy, the feeling of true partnership and of having someone who won’t abandon me when times get tough, the relief of having who nurses me when I am sick, the growth that comes from having someone whose very existence challenges me to become better and greater, who has brought my children into this world and enabled me to have grandchildren, who shares key dreams and morals, of co-creating a good life, a sounding board with my happiness at heart, someone who is able to provide a woman’s touch and point of view and softness and beauty into my house and make it into a warm and loving home, the adventure, the value of having someone who lets me be and become who I was born to be, and co-creates a home that is a safe harbor and a place of all the above.
Russ
Russ Towne's A Grateful Man 
I think you two are blessed to have each other. Our culture certainly seeks to promote short term gratification versus long term relationship and honor.
Thank you, Bill. I agree.
Russ
True love like yours means it really can happen.
You’ve hit on a key reason that I mention it as often as I do. When I was alone and lonely, there were times when I wondered as to whether true and lasting love was merely the stuff of fairy tales. That was even more true when my first fiance’ broke off our engagement. I was heart-shattered and needed hope. I found it in the true-life stories of people who were in long-lasting committed loving relationships. I studied what they had in common and sought it in a relationship. It takes a lot of work and commitment to keep a relationship alive and thriving, but when it is right and the right mate is found, the return on investment is HUGE.
Russ
I so agree with you. I tell everyone there really ARE wonderful guys around. You are one of them and so is my hubs and my son!
Thank you for your kind comment. I’m happy to hear that you have great guys in your life. That says a lot about the quality of the woman you are too!
Russ
You clearly have a very special union, Russ. My grandparents were happily married for over 50 years, so I was fortunate enough to witness the many joys of a longtime love union firsthand. When it works, it’s truly a beautiful thing. So happy for the joy and deep bond you and your wife enjoy…. Lori
Thank you for your kind comment, Lori. I know that many others wish for relationships that they do not have. I wish for joy for everyone, whatever that looks like for each person.
Russ
It would be hard to add anything to the things you said…i’d have to really think to do so…Diane
Thank you, Diane.
Russ
Excellent advice! There are so many positive things to being in a long term relationship that they overshadow the few negatives. 🙂
I agree that when one is in a happy long-term committed relationship, the positive things tend to overshadow the negatives. If the commitment by either party is missing, and/or if one or both people in the relationship tend to focus primarily on the negatives, then all bets are off.
Russ
Having done this the wrong way in my life, it is delightful to feel the resonance of your words. Nothing worth having is provided without effort and nothing is worth more than loving and being loved by the right person. I delight in your union and your shared love. As I gratefully and humbly celebrate my own. Happy New Year Russ
Hi, Mimi. It is wonderful to hear from you. Your words have a beauty that rivals glorious sunsets. I too have done it the wrong way for part of my life. It took looking inside myself and seeking out tools and resources to help me to improve myself and my relationships. The results were well worth the effort. I am glad that you too have experienced the many benefits of being in a hgappy long-term committed relationship.
Russ