Some weekend humor. (Some might say weakened humor.)

This joke is dedicated to anyone who is having the kind of day
described in the joke. May it bring a smile to your face and be the
beginning of a much better day fo you.

Russ

Upon arriving home, a husband was met at the door by his sobbing wife.

Tearfully she explained, “It’s the chemist (in this context,
folks in the U.S. woulsd say “pharmacist”.).
He insulted me terribly this morning on the phone.

I had to call multiple times before he would even answer the phone.”

Immediately, the husband drove downtown to confront the chemist and
demand an apology.

Before he could say more than a word or two, the chemist told him,
“Now, just a minute, listen to my side of it. This morning the alarm
failed to go off, so I was late getting up. I went without breakfast
and hurried out to the car, just to realize that I’d locked the house with
both house and car keys inside and had to break a window to get my keys.

“Then, driving a little too fast, I got a speeding ticket. Later, when
I was about three blocks from the store, I had a flat tyre.”

“When I finally got to the store a bunch of people were waiting for me
to open up.

I got the store opened and started waiting on these people, all the
time the darn phone was ringing off the hook.”

He continued, “Then I had to break a roll of coins against the cash
register drawer to make change, and they spilled all over the floor.

I had to get down on my hands and knees to pick up the coins and
the phone was still ringing.

When I came up I cracked my head on the open cash drawer, which made
me stagger back against a showcase with a bunch of perfume bottles on it.

Half of them hit the floor and broke.”

“Meanwhile, the phone is still ringing with no let up, and I finally got
back to answer it. It was your wife. She wanted to know how to use a
rectal thermometer.

And believe me sir, as God is my witness, all I did was tell her.”